


Hollow

by brasspetal



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Explicit Language, Five Years Later, Gen, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Canon, Psychological Horror, Revenge, Survival Horror, Survivors Guilt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-10-31 03:30:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 41,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10890786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brasspetal/pseuds/brasspetal
Summary: Five years later, Ellie and Joel's journey sets them on a path for revenge and the spiraling descent that follows.





	1. Bones

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece of writing I have posted anywhere, so forgive me if I tagged something wrong. This takes place right after the trailer for The Last of Us Part II (20 year old Ellie). This is a pretty dark fic. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Check out this beautiful piece of art inspired by this fic [here](http://havenandart.tumblr.com/post/166948113379/root-and-ellie-from-brassfannibal-s-really-great)

Crows collected along the broken gutter of the dilapidated porch. It was a sorry house. Small. Something once dreamt up by a farmer maybe. Something for living in not dying but since when are things as they should be? The window in the second bedroom was crooked. Its frame had been split open at some point long ago. Whoever did so was probably long dead, along with the spiders that left their webs. The webs were wispy dust collectors that draped the corners of each room. This place was nowhere but she was here being a spider when all the others were gone. She was in the right place, the right kind of nowhere.

She had been shaking earlier from the adrenaline but now she was calm. It should terrify her. There was blood everywhere, even in the cracks in the wood beneath her scuffed shoes. She was also splattered in it. Speckles of red dried on her skin already. A small line of it traveled down her cheek like a tear, as if she were crying but she was calm. She was quiet. She held the guitar in her lap silently, having already sung to the dead.

One of the men she butchered was laying a few feet from her, his eyes frozen open, staring out into forever. For a moment, she thought he blinked. She watched him silently for a moment waiting for it to happen again but it never does. Of course, it doesn’t. Why would it? Her mind wasn’t lost to her yet. She was fine. She was breathing.

The boards creek and she snaps from her thoughts, remembering the man that had been standing stoically in the doorway. How long had she been sitting here? Joel was patient at least. People didn’t realize how patient he could be. She wasn’t reveling in the blood and quiet. She was just existing in this nowhere house. She knew there was another body in the bathroom and another one in the living room. The one in the living room was hacked to pieces. It was the first one she saw, so naturally, he got the brunt of her anger. The other two kills were more calculating. She had time to breathe in between. Her swings had become more measured.

She chanced a glance at Joel, the first time since the fleeting look they exchanged when he stopped in the doorway earlier.

He says the first words to crack the silence, “It’s gonna be dark soon.”

She could see the beginnings of the sun setting from the bedroom window. The light bounced off the fogged damaged glass and glistened in her eyes like it was something worth looking at. She stood with her guitar and packed it in its cloth sack before pushing the frayed strap over her shoulder.

She left the bedroom passing Joel in the doorway and walked down the ruined hallway; keeping her eyes ahead. Outside the crows cawed louder and louder. A distant church bell rang and she turned slowly in its direction. The echoing hollowed sound of it left her feeling exposed. She waited to hear it again and even the crows quieted.

She was alone out beneath the setting sun and the church bell never rang again.

\--  
  
Ellie remembered when her hands were small and could fit into crevices; fit in all the hidden places. She balls them up into fists until her knuckles were forced white and she releases them against her side. She could see Joel walking ahead of her as he often did, a silhouette. He aligned with the moon but it wasn’t particularly bright this night. There weren’t many stars either. They were hiding but from what? Something akin to dread filled her up. The quiet night was anything but a reprieve. She wished Joel was closer. Why was he walking so far ahead?  
  
She lets out a breath, “Hey, what’s the rush?” Her voice sounded as if it didn’t belong to her and she waited for it to carry itself across the growing divide. He stops then with a tired sigh, “I was givin’ you time.” Time to reflect. Time to analyze. Time to grieve. Time to scream. There were things she didn’t want time for. Her thoughts were wicked things these days.  
  
She grips the strap of her bag a bit too tightly, “I’m fine.” He doesn’t reply but the way he’s looking at her she knows he can see right through her to the core. They walk side by side now in sync without even trying. They were reflections of each other; of days and people they’ve lost. He looks out ahead of them, ready to take on whatever dare crawl out from the decaying tomb of a town “You’ve been practicin’” She knows he could either mean the guitar or…  
  
But of course, he has a hint of a smile on his face. He was never proud of killing and she could pretend she didn’t glean any pleasure from it either but she’d be lying (at least in this instance). Not these men. They didn’t deserve her regret. “Any chance I get” She states and her mouth moves into a small smile of its own accord. She’d play the guitar right now if she could and let the clickers come out to dance. She’d strum and hum and sing until they took her into their arms.  
  
She looks up ahead of them then and sees her but only for a moment before she disappears into the black. It was Riley. She could hardly see her in the dark but she knew it was her. It wasn’t really her though, _obviously_. Her heart began to hammer in her chest and she turns to where Joel had been but he was gone.  
  
She stops abruptly, “Joel?”  
  
She turns around almost ready to go into panic mode. To her relief, Joel was grabbing something from a destroyed rusted car. It looked to be a handgun maybe. She lets out the breath she was holding and he catches back up with her.  
  
_When did it get so dark?_  
  
They camp in a diner that was covered in old bullet holes. Part of the roof was blown off by some kind of high powered artillery. It didn’t much matter now. She laid down on her sleeping bag as Joel stood against the counter keeping watch out of the broken windows. She wanted to say she was sorry to the shadow of her dear friend, the only father she knew. That’s not what they do though. They live in the silence and just know what the other is thinking. Instead, she says, “Did you see this big fucking hole?”  
  
She’s laying on her back now looking up at the night sky through the roof. She can hear Joel shift and knows he’s looking. He hums in response but says nothing else. She lays there on her back and stares beyond the hole out into the void with no stars. It could swallow her whole. She turns away abruptly and lays on her side facing Joel. He’s back to staring out into the street. She felt like she was fading, disappearing. Soon she'd be nothing more than the imprint on this sleeping bag. She shut her eyes and listens. She hears laughter and a crackling fire. The pages of a book turning, the sound of footsteps in the rain, quiet yawns, the chopping of wood. There is distant singing too. It was Joel…he was singing, somewhere far away. She strains herself to hear it but it’s faint. It’s too much, too fast.  
  
_“Hey kiddo”_ She hears and then the snapping of twigs or maybe…bones.


	2. Villains

Ellie leaves pieces of herself behind in the places she’s been like breadcrumbs. She’s slowly crumbling from the inside out. She’s afraid of smiling sometimes because it could crack apart her face and then there really would be nothing left, would there?  
  
There is something dead lying in the street and the crows are picking at it from afar. She watches them stock-still like a statue. Sometimes she remembers and other times she pretends. The pretending is all she has now.  
  
She pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of her backpack and straightened it in her fingers. It was her list. Their list. Some were names and others were just descriptions. She stared at the letters on the page until they began to seem unreadable. She read the next thing on the list like they were going shopping, “The bald man.” Joel walked ahead of her without a word, holding the strap of his green tattered backpack. She watched him walk past the carcass and the birds didn’t even flinch at his presence. She closes her eyes tight. The daylight seemed false against her face. It didn’t seem to warm her like it used to. She used to love the sun.  
  
Ahead of them was a partially destroyed town hall where a plane had crashed into it. The tail stuck out with vines crisscrossing it as if the earth was holding it in place. She listens closely to their boots crunching as they amble on. Her words tumble out of her, “I should have never—“ He interrupts with a quick, “Ellie..” and holds up his hand. He didn’t want to talk about it and neither did she but these thoughts kept swirling around her head. She had to let some of them out before she drowned. She pushes on, finishing her sentence, “I should have never left.”  
  
\--  
  
Once upon a time she had been willing to die for a cause. She had been willing to die so that the world could finally start to heal. She was so angry those years ago at Joel for taking that away and changing her fate. She was so _angry_. Now she feels nothing for the Fireflies. Nothing for Marlene. Nothing much for this world she so desperately wanted to save once. _Once upon a time._  
  
She bit into the apple she had been holding only to find it was rotten. She tossed it into the dirt beside a decade old trash pile. One town over was burning. “Another town,” Joel comments out of the silence. It scares her sometimes because she’s gotten so used to the quiet.  
  
Another town. _Another_. Jackson was a town too in its way. It was.  
  
That year on the road with Joel was the most brutal and beautiful part of her life. She wouldn’t change it even if the dead still followed her.  
  
Even if…  
  
\--  
  
She was shaking again from the adrenaline. This time the blood speckled patterns across her lower arms like a map. Her map. The bald man was a mess on the floor and his blood moved down her blade until it stained itself on the eroding wood.  
  
It shouldn’t be so easy to hate. It really shouldn’t. It’s what keeps her walking, breathing, being. She needs it more than the next can of beans or that precious sip of water. Without it, she would just disappear and no one would know. No one would know all the people that once mattered to her, no one would know how hard they fought, no one would know how they tried to save the world. She almost feels like laughing but she’s not sure the dead man in front of her would appreciate it much. So, she presses her finger to her lips to quiet herself and she knows when she pulls her hand away, her face would be smeared with red.  
  
“Ellie!” Joel calls but it’s muffled. “Did you hear me?”  
  
She shakes her head and he sighs, “We should get a move on.” She turns her head to look over at Joel and the way he’s standing, looking serious, concerned. He is very much like Joel but if she’s honest, he's like a mirage. An image left over that burned its way into her heart. She can tell by the way he’s looking at her that she must look terrible. He was worried.  
  
Something was wrong. Something was _really_ wrong.  
  
She squinted when it grew brighter inside. There was something menacing about the light. She suddenly didn’t want it in here with them anymore. As if the light was a third person, an entity of some kind. She wanted to scream, so she does. She screams so loud until she can hear the clickers replying with their wails of anguish. Joel at that point grabs her shoulders and gently tugs her outside with him. She goes willingly. “I told you, you ain’t been sleepin’ right.” Joel supplies. This was his explanation for her behavior, lack of sleep. If she could just close her eyes and rest then she would wake up refreshed. She would wake up fourteen years old again and reading ‘No Pun Intended’  
  
_‘A book just fell on my head, I only have my shelf to blame.’_  
  
Isn’t that something. All she needed to do was sleep and this fucking nightmare would be over. So, she does just that. She rolls out her sleeping bag against a crumbling brick wall as Joel starts a fire. She watches the flames dance between her and him. He seemed so far away.  
  
\--  
  
She dreams. Of course she does.  
  
_Gunshots._  
  
They're muffled but she can tell they are loud wherever they are coming from. When she opened her eyes, she was standing at the gates of Jackson.  
  
No. No. No. She can’t do this again. Not _this_.  
  
There’s smoke collecting in the sky and ash in the air. It falls ever so gently on the tip of her nose like a snowflake. She forces her eyes closed and the gunshots cease. It was so quiet now. The kind of silent that your ears create sound to avoid.  
  
“I got you.” She hears in Joel’s voice. It was soothing, it was relieving, it was familiar.  
  
_“Swear to me.”_  
  
_“…I swear”_  
  
Her eyes snap open. It wasn’t a gentle, sleepy wake up. She was just….awake as if she never slept. It was still dark outside but as usual there were no stars to greet her from above. The fire was still crackling. She would guess she only fell asleep for no longer than an hour or two. She moves to her side and sees Joel still sitting there, poking at the fire with a stick.  
  
There was the vicious hope that no matter how bad things got they would right themselves into some disturbing balance. A disturbing kind of balance that she could get used to. Wasn’t that better than always listening for the screams? Whether they were real or not.  
  
“You’re gonna have to eat something, Ellie,” Joel says, quietly. He holds out a can of beans to her. He’s wearing a dusty blue shirt that tends to look cleaner than some of the others. She wasn’t hungry but she took the can from him anyway. She grips the spoon and observes, “You look tired.”  
  
“I’m fine.” Is all he says and he watches, nodding at the can of beans. She eats the entirety of the can and Joel looks pleased. His face was aglow from the firelight and she tries to pretend this was years ago. She tries to pretend they never left Jackson to look for the Fireflies. That winter would have never existed and _this_ …whatever _this_ is…would never have come to be.  
  
“The bald man.” Ellie states and Joel doesn’t look at her, just digs at his can of beans like it’s casual conversation. In a way, it was. Killing was part of who they were. Joel chews, “He told us nothin’ because you didn’t give him the chance to.” He sets the empty can down and wipes his mouth.  
  
“He wouldn’t have said anything. Either we find them on our own or not at all.”  
  
Joel eyes her and leans back, tying his shoe. She could pull out the list of names and descriptions to get on with their agenda but she already knew who was next and she knew Joel did too. There was nothing left to do but continue to carve their path until there was nothing left to carve. A clicker spasms its way out of the woods and Joel stands, smoothly. His handgun already pointed and fires twice, sending it back to the earth.  
  
\--  
  
Ellie wonders about the heroes from the comics she used to read. She wonders if she’d be the villain or the monster at the end of the book. They all must start somewhere.


	3. The Spider

This one begs for his life.

He’s on his knees in front of her, blubbering and sobbing. He wants her to spare him. Joel does the talking which was different but she didn’t think she could form words now.

“Where are the others?” Joel asks him and the man switches his eyes frantically between the two of them.

“They aren’t he---re. I swear it! We were…separated”

Joel shifts his weight, his gun held loosely in his hand, “Where'd they go?”

“I don’t know. I swear. Please! I don’t know!” He’s loud in his panic and it sets them both on edge. Joel is looking at her, asking permission with his eyes. He wanted to be the one to do it and she wasn’t going to argue. She nods once and the man starts wailing. He knows what’s coming. Ellie turns, sheathing her knife in her belt before walking towards the open doorway of the house. The man lets out a final yell before the gunshot rings out, startling the birds nearby. They cascade outwards in a frenzied pattern and Ellie watches them until they are obscured from her sight.

This place didn’t feel much like Colorado, even the trees looked different than what she was used to. It was like someone came in and changed them around, hoping she wouldn’t notice. It was unsettling, to say the least.

Ellie snaps her attention to someone crouched down among the bushes, trying to sneak their way over to a nearby house. She pulls out her handgun and walks through (what she assumes) used to be the front yard. The figure disappears around the corner of a vine-covered house. Ellie walks out into the street with reckless abandon, her eyes trained on the last place the figure had been. She passes by a set of overgrown bushes and then rounds the corner with her gun pointed in front of her. She can see the figure stop suddenly, frightened and stand with their arms held up in surprise. It was a girl, a young girl with brown hair tied back in a braid and partially hidden under a baseball cap. Ellie blanched, her eyes widening a little.

“Please…” The girl says and Ellie’s hands were shaking. She felt like she had been punched in the gut. The girl looked terrified, unable to move. Ellie lowers her gun. She had no intention of shooting her but she just…she doesn’t quite know why she felt so paralyzed. The girl looks a little relieved but she keeps staring at her gun, nervously.

“I’m not going to hurt you. How old are you?” Ellie tries.

The girl’s terror fades into something resembling rage now, “Where’s my dad? What did you do to him?”

Ellie felt ill. Sweat collected on her forehead. “I don’t know your dad.”

“You took him into that house over there. I know what I saw!” The girl exclaimed. For just a second, only a second Ellie seemed to have forgotten what this girl’s father was a part of. That he had helped to cause the deaths of many children, families, people she loved. She remembered his face.

“Your father was a bad man.” Ellie replies and the hate in the girl’s expression was all for her. That was okay, she needed that hate. She knew the girl thought she was a monster and in a way, it was true. “Your father—“ Ellie begins. Then there was a loud crack, a gunshot. The sound echoing forever into the air. The impact of the bullet slammed into Ellie’s side and caused her to fall backward. Joel was screaming her name. The sound of his shoes smacking against the pavement drew closer. She knew the desperation in his tone well. Had she missed it? Was it fucked up to miss something like that? Her back hits the road hard and the air is stolen from her.

The blue of the sky penetrated through the trees. There wasn’t a cloud to be found.

\--

Joel was carrying her, she could see his panicked face above her. He kept looking down at her and yelling but she couldn’t hear him. Was this real? Or was this what she wanted? They were bad people, weren’t they? Isn’t this how the cycle is supposed to continue?

_A young girl shoots her dead. Bad person vanquished. Rinse and repeat._

Would it always be this loop? Some other girl and so on and so forth. Until there is no such thing as something called ‘childhood’. This is a world for monsters, some worse than others but monsters all the same. She thinks it would be fitting to die in Joel’s arms after all. The cycle completing. Sarah, Ellie, _around we go._

The fucked up thing was, was that she knew if she did bite the dust then Joel would most likely eat a bullet not long after. She rests her head against Joel’s shoulder and slips into unconsciousness.

\--

David waits for her in her subconscious. He’s not there all the time and a lot less over the years but sometimes he’s just there. She’s back in that burning steakhouse with the howling wind outside and he’s chasing her through the booths. He says something different to her each time.

_“Not long now, you’ll be here with me.”_

The David in her subconscious is a lot more patient and it terrifies her each time. He whistles as she sneaks towards the kitchen but he’s there in the doorway, holding his machete. A machete much like the one she has now. He points it at her as a taunt and then she lunges forward.

She tears him up, as she did originally but this time Joel never comes and David’s body disappears. It evaporates like it’s water, disappearing into the carpet. He’s back to chasing her once again. It starts over and she’s stuck in that steakhouse for eternity with a beast. Sometimes the fire engulfs the entire restaurant, taking everything with it. She usually wakes up around then but this time she doesn’t. She lays on the burning ground unable to feel the flames that surround her and she watches the ceiling give way to the blizzard outside. In this moment, she's no longer the ‘little girl’ she was something else entirely. She was the spider. The spider that outlived all the rest, alone, amongst wrecked cobwebs.


	4. Gone

Her side was on fire and Joel was above her. There are beads of sweat on his forehead and in the hollow of his throat. He was concentrating, trying to get her to stay still. He was digging around beneath her skin.

“Hold still, almost got it.” He recites.

She reaches towards him aimlessly and he quickly squeezes her hand before moving it aside.

He had to be here. He had to be real. Someone can’t just dream this up, can they?

He holds up the bullet triumphantly or as animated as Joel can be and she hears it clink against metal.

\--

There’s a storm raging outside. The wind angrily beats against the shredded windows. She slowly opens her eyes to the blurry ceiling above. The shadows of trees whipping furiously outside mesh against the walls. A sharp pain rips through her gut and she lets out a pained breath. Her and Joel would have matching side scars now. She feels her lips stretch into something resembling a smile but she knows it was closer to a grimace.

She tries to sit up on a cringe and suddenly Joel’s hand is on her shoulder. “Take it easy.”

She slowly lies back down, focusing on the fighting shadows. “We’ll have kinda sorta matching scars now.” Ellie supplies.

Joel is silent for a moment before he adds, “Not worth it, kiddo.”

Ellie rests her hand gently over the bandage, feeling the heat beneath and asks, “What happened to the girl?”

“She ran away but it ain’t as if I was payin’ much attention after what happened. How are you feelin’?“

“Like I was shot,” Ellie replies and attempts to sit up again which earns her a grunt and a glare from Joel.

“You need to rest.”

Ellie reaches for her bag, “I’m fine. You patched me up good. We should be pros at this by now.”

Joel tosses the bloodied cloths aside and says, “All it takes is _one_ time.”

“Well until then…” Ellie grunts and searches for the list. “We have work to do.”

Joel reaches over, resting his hand on top of hers, crumbling the paper she was holding. “Let me do this one, Ellie.”

“No. No way. I’m not sitting any of this shit out.” Ellie says, her heart was pounding, her side was throbbing and she was exhausted. It wasn’t as if she’d tell him that.

“You almost…” Joel begins a bit too loud but quiets his voice down. “…almost died.”

She ignores him and forces herself to try to stand. She yells from the motion, feeling as if her side was being ripped open again.

“Goddammit, Ellie!” Joel yells this time.

Ellie leans against a rickety table and then sits back down on the floor again, only a few feet from where she was sitting before. Joel has fire in his eyes and he’s waiting for a fight. She swallows and decides not to give him one.

“Fine…I’ll just twiddle my fucking thumbs until tomorrow but no later than that,” Ellie replies. Joel still doesn’t seem satisfied but he doesn’t argue.

The storm remains loud as the thunder cracks overhead, the whole building lights up and then darkens again. She had been through storms such as these numerous times but watching through the lightning flashes as Joel appears and disappears, made her shut her eyes against it.

Thunder rattles the windows and she says aloud, “I think I’m losing it. “

He doesn’t hear her though; the storm was too angry. He disappears into the darkness again and she fumbles with her bag which is beside her to pull out the matches.  She reaches awkwardly to the side, careful not to disturb her wound and drags the lantern towards her across the dirty floor. She strikes a match and lights it. She looks over at Joel then, his silhouette sitting by his bag, resting his head against the wall. Now when the lightning flashes and the darkness comes she still sees him and knows he’s not far from her.

\--

Ellie had grown to love Tommy and Maria. They were kind to her and gave her a place to call home. When she had arrived back with Joel from the Fireflies they didn’t ask or bother her about what had happened. They let her live her life. For a while, she was…happy. Joel was too. That matters. It _still_ matters, even now.

She wonders how often Joel thinks of his brother. Will he forget his face in time? His voice? She hopes not. She hopes that like his broken watch he still keeps with him, that Tommy is there too, somewhere. Ellie will remember for him when time stretches too thin. She’ll remember the way she remembers Riley.

_‘We fight for every second we get to spend with each other’_

She watches the lightning flashes paint the ceiling and her cheeks become wet. She lifts her hand to wipe her eyes and asks the darkness, “Are you awake?”

There’s no answer.

\--

Ellie woke up to the light creating shadows on the ceiling. The storm was over and it was morning. She sat up slowly, pressing her hand to the bandage. She turns to stretch and sees that Joel was gone. His bag wasn’t there.

“Joel?”

Nothing.

She forces herself to stand up too fast and she cries out from the pain that ensues. She leans against the rickety table again, breathing through the discomfort.

“Joel?!”

Nothing.

The odd thing was, even in Jackson when they felt safe for those years, she never liked being that far from Joel. She liked knowing he was fine and she knows he felt the same. She didn’t need to be with him 24/7 but sometimes just seeing him helping with construction on one of her walks relieved her. He was fine, she was fine. This was _fine_. That’s why it had been so hard to leave after she had found out Joel’s lie. She did though, she packed her things and was gone for a solid month before she couldn’t take it anymore. If anything, she just needed to go back and make sure they were okay; catch a glimpse. What she found was worse than what her nightmares had conjured up.

The road was where they belonged, no matter how brutal. It molded her into what she is today, good or bad. She wasn’t meant to have her own property, grow her own crops or find someone to settle down with. This was it. She’d die with a gun in her hand and a blade at her back.

She slowly eases away from the table and limps towards the center of the small room. It looked to have been a doctor’s office at one point. There's an old torn apart chair resting in a pile that could have been a part of the original waiting room. There’s what appears to be a front desk with scuff marks all alongside it, like it had been kicked several times by someone. She walks towards the open doorway beyond the front desk to find a room with piles of shredded soggy clothing. There’s a skeleton with its mouth agape, resting against the wall with a green backpack that resembled Joel’s.

She reaches out carefully and takes it, unzipping the different pockets to find it was mostly empty. Inside the main pocket was a stuffed dirty koala bear. She squeezes it, staring at it longer than necessary. She looked back at the long dead remains and set the bag down at its feet. Joel wasn’t here.

She limped back out to the main room and listened to the water dripping on the floor from above. It echoed, never-ending.

“Where the fuck are you?” She asks the silence.

She thinks of Jackson again, it sends her thoughts off balance.  She remembers Joel’s backpack lying on the ground and the screams. She had come back too late. Was it his backpack? She shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts and her breathing becomes erratic. Her heart was creating thunder in her chest and she has to kneel down on the floor to try and calm herself down. The room, it doesn’t even look like he was ever here. There are no cans or water, there is nothing but her stuff. She was going to pass out if she didn’t calm her breathing down. The pain in her side was agony.

_No. He was here. He got the bullet out. He carried her here._

In Jackson, there were piles of charred bone, not knowing who it belonged to or what to bury. It was sickening. The home she had known for five years was gone. Everything was _gone_.

The door creaks open and she hears, “What in the hell are you doin’ up?” In that familiar drawl.  She doesn’t even turn to look at him, she just passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not a lot happened in this chapter but I have a lot of plans for this story and I hope whoever is reading this, is enjoying it!


	5. Inevitability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning: This chapter is extra violent. I actually toned it down a bit from the original chapter.

There was light behind her eyelids. She blinks awake and Joel is sitting above her, wearing that mixture of frustration and concern on his face. “You were pushin’ yourself too hard.”

Ellie does something she hasn’t done in years. She reaches out with both arms and embraces him. He stiffens for a moment, surprised at the abruptness and then he slowly sets his hands on her back.

She buries her face in his shoulder. “Tell me you’re real.” She pleads against his shirt. “Fucking tell me you’re real.” She moves away just enough to see his face.  


“Ellie…”  


“Please!”  


He looks less confused now and more heavyhearted. “I’m real, kiddo.”

That’s all she needs. That’s all. She’s not alone. He’s here. She’s just not going to question it anymore. She’s not going to think about the inconsistencies or obsess over that fucking backpack.  
  
She moves back and asks, “Where’d you go?”

“Next buildin’ over, I found some food. Thought I’d be back before you woke up.”

She sighs, “Maybe tell me next time.”

He nods, understanding. “Can do.”

\--

It happens when they’re standing on the border of a burning town. A town that had been lived in, until that nameless group that took Jackson away from them swept through here.

It happened when she bent down to pick up what appeared to be a locket on the pavement. The chain was snapped as if it had been ripped from someone’s neck. Joel was standing next to a smoking pile of the dead. She looked up just for a moment beyond the blurry fog and spotted what appeared to be a wild dog.  The dog resembled a wolf. It had beautiful gray fur and its eyes glowed in the dim light. It was ethereal, like something out of a fairy tale. It was looking straight at her, just standing on the edge of the town, unafraid. It didn’t look like one of the usual wild dogs that now roamed the wastes. This one was different. This one had a purpose. Or maybe she was losing her mind, because it dipped back into the fog, disappearing.

Ellie approaches Joel and tugs on his elbow like she’s fourteen again.  He turns, quirking a brow.  
  
“Just saw a dog.” She states and Joel’s expression hardened.

“Yeah, I suspect there would be some roamin' around here.”

“No, I mean…it was different.” She tries and he looks at her as if she has lost her mind.

Ellie sighs, “It looked like it had a purpose.”

“Well yeah, and what do you think that purpose is?” Joel supplies and Ellie shakes her head.

She didn’t know how to describe it. It was as if she was lifting the curtain on something she has yet to figure out. She says nothing more on the subject.

\--

The next person on their shopping list was a woman this time; Dirty blonde hair, a deep scar across her cheek. Joel said her name was Lila and she had a flamethrower. Ellie doesn’t ask much more than that. He’s barely spoken a word about Jackson since the incident but neither has she.

Lila wasn’t hard to find. She wasn’t the type to hide. All they had to do was follow the smoke, flames and charred remains.

Ellie had trouble crouching due to the pain in her side but it was more of an annoyance than a hindrance. They were on the roof of a nearby building, crouching down against the wall. Smoke rose from the backdrop, black as soot. Down below was Lila and two other men. One had a bandanna over his face and the other had an unruly graying beard. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Joel moves away from the edge and says, “Best wait till dark.”

Ellie remains, watching the three monsters destroy everything in their path.  


\--

The night was even more suffocating than the day. It was like the smoke and fog had nowhere to go but crowd around them. They could hardly see in front of them.  
  
To be on the safe side, they double-back on the path they knew and went around to flank the building that Lila was staying in. The building itself was nothing special. If anything, it looked like all the other shit holes that they've explored. The roof was caving in and part of the building had already collapsed in on itself. It did, however, make it easy for them to get inside.

Ellie quietly jumped down from a hole in the ceiling to some kind of back room. Joel quickly followed suit and whispered harshly, “Ellie…you need to let me go first.”

She crouches by the door which was opened a crack already. She suspects the door would never be able to close properly again, due to the state it was in. Broken bricks and smashed bottles littered the ground out in the hall. One of the men (the one with the bandanna) walks by, startling her. She moves back and Joel rests his hand on her shoulder as if he expects her to burst out there and just start slicing away.  


The guy with the bandanna says, a little too close to their door, “Fuck this…he can come out here to see us. This is bullshit.”  


“Shut the fuck up.” Lila’s voice adds from further down the hall. The bandanna guy sighs and then kicks something, knocking trash everywhere. He suddenly rests his hand on the doorknob to the room they were in. Ellie and Joel sneak back behind a torn box.  He angrily walks inside, looking for something to smash and he turns his back towards the hole in the ceiling. Ellie moves out from cover, as Joel tries to pull her back. It was now or never.

Ellie nears the bandanna wearing asshole and just as he’s about to turn around, she shoves her knife into his neck. He lets out a gurgling rattle, reaching back, surprised.  Joel steps up then but before he can act, Ellie stabs the guy once in the back and then in the side.  He falls to the floor with a silent thud as blood pools around their feet. She felt nothing, absolutely nothing for the man she just killed. She waits for the blood to reach her shoes.    


“Ellie…” Joel tries to bring her back.  


Ellie pulls out her machete and turns towards the door. Joel makes it there first and makes sure the hallway was empty before he signals for her to follow him.  
  
They are crouched on opposite sides of the wall.  Before them is a bigger room that looked to have been the reception area of an office once. The bearded man was asleep on a sleeping bag in the corner. Joel holds his hand up and then motions for them to move back. Ellie complies and sees Lila then. She wasn’t facing them, she was pacing around the room, smoking a cigarette. The smoke dances around her form as she turns to face the counter where her flamethrower sat. Maybe, if there was a single thing that Lila cared about it was that flamethrower.   


Ellie whispers, “You can take the sleeping guy and I can take Lila.”  


“No. We wait.” Joel replies and he doesn’t look in the mood to argue.  


Ellie doesn’t argue but she also doesn’t listen. She stubbornly sneaks behind one of the counters in the room and she can feel Joel’s stare burning a hole in her back. Ellie is close enough to hear Lila take a drag of her cigarette before she flicks it across the room. Joel finds his way beside her and she doesn’t dare look at him before she moves to a darkened corner. Lila was oblivious. She even lights another cigarette. Ellie watches her from this new angle. The scar on Lila’s face was deeper than she imagined it would be and there was another one across her neck as if someone attempted to slit her throat. Maybe she had a sob story and maybe she didn’t. It didn’t matter who Lila was, all that mattered was who she is now. All that mattered was that she’d be dead soon enough.

Ellie did imagine speaking with her. What advice would this murderer impart on her? Would Lila submit to the inevitability that Ellie will someday face or will she laugh, raising her head to the moon?  
  
  
“You’ve been sleeping all day,” Lila says. The man doesn’t stir. Lila walks over to his sleeping form and Ellie sees her opportunity. Joel is already across the room as if he predicted what she was about to do. Lila kicks the sleeping man once, “Get the fuck up!”  


Ellie steps into the light, when a creak on the stairs catches her attention. There was another man. A man she hadn’t seen before standing on the stairway staring straight at her. The surprise was evident in his stance. Ellie’s breath catches in her throat.  


What happens next happens so fast that Ellie has hardly enough time to process it. The man was pulling out a gun but before he could shoot Ellie, Joel shot two rounds into him, sending the man tumbling down the stairs. This, of course, catches the attention of Lila and the sleeping bearded man. She turns, noticing Ellie and Ellie just swings forward with no time to think.

The machete slices and sticks into Lila’s arm and they both topple forward. Joel uses his bat to finish off the bearded man who barely had enough time to realize what was happening. Lila yelled when she hit the ground and Ellie caught herself before she fell to the ground with her. She ripped the machete from Lila’s arm but Lila didn’t scream again. Ellie lifted it into the air on a breath, ready to finish it. A bead of blood fell onto Ellie's neck, staining her collarbone.  
  
Lila laid on the destroyed wood and just stared at Ellie, almost amused. Ellie's grip on the machete tightened and Lila…Lila was starting to smile. Joel was calling her name but she couldn’t really hear him. There was a rushing sound like water in her ears. Lila’s lips stretch wider and wider. She was going to say something. She was going to tell Ellie all the truths she didn’t want to hear. She was going to tell her who she was and who she was going to be.

Before Lila speaks, Ellie brought down the machete, silencing what was coming.

Joel was yelling for her this time and he grabbed her shoulders. Ellie imagines she looks like a maniac, wide-eyed and covered in blood. The machete drops from her hands and she presses her back into Joel’s chest, letting him just hold her like that. She was calm, so calm. She knew what Lila was going to say (or at least she pretended to).

She’d dream about it and think about it long after this.  


_“I’m your future. I’m what you’ve got to look forward to.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be in Joel's POV.


	6. Her

Joel knew without a doubt that none of this would end well. None of it ever does. He’s been down this road again and again. It was a circle. Jackson didn’t deserve what it got, his brother and his wife didn’t deserve what they got but since when did anyone get what they deserved?

Since _never_ , that’s when.

He was here, going through the motions, for one reason only and she was walking beside him. This was her journey and he’d be damned if she was going to do it alone. He was here to keep her safe and that’s what this has always been about.

Did he like that she was doing this? Hell no, but he learned a long time ago that forcing Ellie to do anything never ends up working in the long run.

He already thought he lost her after she found out the truth about the Fireflies. He thought she was gone forever. That, that was it. He would do it again though. He would kill them all to save her and to bring her home. She could hate and rage at him but as long as she was alive, that’s all that mattered.

He wasn’t a good man and hasn’t been for a very long time but that’s okay. The world didn’t deserve good men. The world didn’t deserve _her_.

They camp out in the woods away from the burning town. The scent of burnt flesh still resting in their clothes. Ellie is quiet by the fire as she often was these days.

It scares him sometimes how lost she gets in her thoughts. He could wave a hand in front of her face now and snap his fingers and she wouldn’t have the faintest idea he was doing just that.

Then…then there was when she killed Lila. There was nothing behind her eyes. She was calm. Even when he held her she didn’t react, she just fell into him. It was like he was holding a shell of Ellie and he wondered where she had gone to.

“I found some canned peaches,” Joel says and snaps his fingers when she doesn’t respond. She blinks quietly and then focuses on him. Her face was shadowed by the fire.  


_Where’d you go?_  


He tosses the can to her and she catches it with a small hum. He leans back, moving his bag and reaches in the front pocket, “You better eat that.”

“I will.” She says, a hint of annoyance in her tone. Good. She was annoyed. We were getting somewhere.

He tosses her a spoon and opens his own can. He thinks about the comic he found, resting in his bag. He knows she would say no if he asked if she wanted to read it. So, he keeps it for her until she wants to read it or when this is done.  


_This isn’t going to end well._  


She’s eating now and looking contemplative like she wants to say something. He takes a small bite and looks out to the darkness of the woods. The pure kind of dark that only the woods can provide. There are clickers out there. He can hear them if he listens hard enough but he won’t have to deal with them unless they breach the treeline. He wasn’t going to sleep anyway.

“I haven’t seen the stars in a long time,” Ellie says and it’s almost too quiet to hear her over the popping embers of the fire between them.

Joel chances a glance at the sky then, seeing nothing but dark.

“Doesn’t mean they ain’t there.” He replies and watches as the flames reach up, like desperate hands and finding nothing to grasp onto.

Ellie looks like she could smile, “Since when do you practice optimism?”

“Just tellin’ the truth,” Joel says, testing a smile of his own. These smiles are fleeting and are often gone in a blink. Ellie’s expression fades into something more haunted. He was losing her again. She was going back into herself.

Then she speaks, “I keep thinking about Lila.” She stares at the ground and begins poking it with a small stick.

“Don’t matter what kind of person Lila was, it’s okay to feel bad about her death.” Joel fishes.

Ellie shakes her head and draws something in the dirt. “I don’t. Not at all. I don’t….feel anything. That’s not…” She stops and throws the tiny stick into the fire. She looks up at him, “What if that’s my future?”

Joel scratches his beard and takes a minute to respond. The fire crackles loudly.

“That will never be you, Ellie. Lila burned people alive.”

“I’m sure she didn’t start that way,” Ellie says and there’s vulnerability in her expression, an openness he hadn’t seen in a while.

“It don’t matter how Lila started but I guarantee you she didn’t spend nights worryin’ about it like you are now.”

Ellie hugs her knees before moving to lie down; facing away from him and away from the fire.

“Goodnight then,” Joel says.

“Night.”

\--

It so happens that a clicker decides to wander a bit too close for Joel’s comfort so he makes use of his bat and spends the rest of the night cleaning the blood from it. It’s around the time when the sun was about to rise and he’s yawned enough times to crack his head open, that he sees it.

It was a dog that resembled a husky out in the trees. It was watching him, unafraid, from a safe distance and Joel was happy about that at least. Although, the dog didn’t seem vicious, only curious. After a while of playing the staring contest, Joel looked over at Ellie’s sleeping form. Her chest rose and fell peacefully. She didn’t wake up screaming like so many other nights before. When Joel turned back to the woods, the dog was gone.  He blinked, pinching the bridge of his nose. He would kill for a cup of coffee right about now.

It starts to rain but a moment later and he stands from the dirt grabbing his bag.

“Ellie, let’s get a move on.”

She stirs awake as the rain grows heavier.

It was pouring down buckets by the time they find shelter under an old bridge. They were soaked through, catching their breath. Ellie twisted and wrung out the ends of her shirt and shook her hair before tying it up again. Joel stood at the edge, running a hand through his wet hair.

“Joel! Watch out!” Ellie yelled and he was shoved down into the muddy water by a Runner. It snapped at his face as he fought it back, pushing it away enough to try and grab a weapon. Ellie, however, shot it straight through the head. It went limp and Joel pushed it off of him before standing up.  There was an echoing screech. He looked out towards the road beyond and that’s when he saw them. At least twenty or so Runners and Clickers running straight towards them. The gunshot seemed to have triggered them. 

“Fuck…” Ellie exclaimed as they booked from beneath the bridge.

Some of the streets were already becoming flooded from the downpour and they had to avoid a tunnel of rushing water to their right. Ellie did learn how to swim at least. Joel was thankful for that.

He taught her how to swim in the lake nearby Jackson, that same summer that they arrived back from the Fireflies.

\--  


_“Jesus christ…I can hardly see with how much water you’re kickin’ up.” Joel says, while spluttering._

_“Shut up, I’m paddling.”_

_Joel had his hands held out in the shallow water as Ellie attempted to doggy paddle. It was a sad sight. She looked like she was about to drown._

_He moved forward and she shoved him away. “I got it. Go!” She commands._

_Joel holds up his hands in surrender and watches her continue to try her hand at flailing like a lunatic in the water. He laughs a little as she struggles but trains his face when she turns in his direction._

_“You’re a terrible fucking teacher.” She says, angrily._

_“How am I supposed to teach if you won’t let me?”_

_Ellie stubbornly starts moving towards the deeper waters and Joel quickly follows after her._  


\--

They barrel into the nearest building, which happens to be an abandoned factory and both struggle to shove the door closed. Joel presses his back to the door as the infected try to smash their way through.

“ELLIE NOW! FIND SOMETHING!” Joel yells and Ellie grabs a pipe from the floor. She tosses it to Joel and he shoves it in place to hold the door closed. He steps back, breathing heavily.

“That ain’t gonna hold.” Joel states.  They take off than through the abandoned factory. There were piles of shoes and clothes strewn haphazardly next to old machinery. He would guess hunters camped here once and the clothes and shoes belonged to their victims. They ascend a damaged staircase and Ellie grabs his arm forcing him into a separate small room, where he slams the door shut. This time they were able to shove a heavy cabinet in front of the door and hope it was enough for now. Ellie catches her breath, setting her hands on her knees and Joel survey’s the room.

It wasn’t much of anything. There were old busted computers and dusty drawers that didn’t give them much of anything except a lot more dust to cough at. They’d have to wait a while until they knew it was safe enough to find another way out of the factory.

They sat next to each other with the backs to the wall and their bags beside them. He wanted to ask her if she was okay but she answers him before he can voice his concern.

“I’m fine. Your worrying isn’t subtle.” Ellie comments.

He huffs but remains silent, staring ahead at the large metal door in front of them. He startles a little when she taps his hand, she was waiting for him to look at her. He turned his head to see her eyes were glassy in the dim light. “I should have never left.”  


Not this again. Joel sighs and stands from the floor.  He walks over to brighten the lantern in the room, to give his hands something to do.

“…but I was so fucking angry.” She continues.

It’s true they never got to talk it out, since she came back when Jackson was in ruins but he didn’t want to have this conversation. There was no need. What’s done is done.

“You did what you had to do,” Joel says.

“What did you do after I left?”

Joel leans on the table facing the lantern and closes his eyes. “Ellie…”

“Want to know what I did?” Her voice quieted. He opened his eyes and turned toward her. She had one knee up and her other leg stretched out. She looked ready to hash this out.

She continues, “I walked. I walked until I couldn’t walk anymore. Until I couldn’t fucking stand up anymore. I couldn’t look back because I knew if I did, I would come back. I lived like an animal in the woods. I slept in the mud and I figured it wasn’t punishment enough for what I caused. I was meant to save the world and it was all for nothing.”

Joel crossed his arms and looked down at the cracks in the concrete floor. “It was your life or this world. This world ain’t worth a damn.”

He was expecting her to yell or to disagree but it scares him how quiet she gets for the longest time. She just sits there, lost, like a statue.

“Ellie…”

She swallows and says, “I know that now.” 

That wasn’t the response he wanted, it wasn’t the response he expected. He wanted her to find some value in her life but he also wanted her to have that hope that infuriated him so much. Now, she just sat there staring ahead. The conversation was over and he felt empty, like someone had sliced him open and took out all the important bits.

She speaks up, startling him out of his own thoughts, “You should rest. You look exhausted.”

He sits back down beside her, against the wall, with his hand resting on his bag.  “You were happy at Tommy’s.” He says, softly.

“We both were.” She replies.

And here they sit. Back out in the dust and blood, like they never left, like those five years never existed.  


He never wanted this for her. Not _her_.


	7. Perpetual

Joel had fallen asleep at an awkward angle against the wall. It kind of made her smile when she noticed. It was a half-way kind of smile. She hadn’t had one of those in a while.

She paced quietly around the room, picking up random objects that had no importance. There was a faded note that she was unable to read on the floor, an old marker that was so brittle it crumbled when she attempted to use it, and a paper clip which she stuck in her bag.

It’s true she had a different take on the world now and the people in it but Joel was what kept her focused. She didn’t know how to convey that, not that she really needed to. It’s become a strange sort of symmetry. He was where she stored herself, in case she ever needed to find who she was again.

“Hey, Joel.”

It doesn’t take much to wake him. He sits up fast, “What?”

“Everything’s fine. I think we should head out.” Ellie says and points to the metal door, which was blocked by the cabinet they shoved in the way. Joel sets his hand to his neck with a cringe as he stands.

They push the cabinet out of the way and Joel steps out first, checking the surroundings. There was an echoing patter of rain leaking inside from the roof but not much else. He motions for her to join him and they climb the shaky walkway to a nearby window. 

They were on the roof of the factory and the sky looked fragmentary. The clouds were dotted across the horizon in dark blues and grays. It didn’t look quite real like it was a memory of a painting she saw once. 

On the ledge, standing so eerily still was a clicker, nothing but a silhouette of black against the sky. It was frozen in time. They both eye it warily as they pass.  


\--

Daniel was _next_.

He was the one who murdered Maria and many others in Jackson.

He was young, her age. Had light brown hair, skinny.  Joel figured he must have been a son of one of the men.  Maybe even the son of the leader of the group, who they called The Wolf, but he came later. Now, it was Daniel’s turn. Ellie didn’t need more incentive than that.

There was an old military outpost and a torn open quarantine zone ahead but they didn’t dare walk up to the front gate. Hunters were stationed there, trying to lure in stragglers like them by a fake radio broadcast.

_‘We’re here to help. We have food, water and a place to sleep.’_

All you had to do was wait for the gunshots and screams that followed.

They didn’t need to get in there. They needed a hunter to spill what they knew about The Wolf and his pack. Joel motions for her to follow him around a rusted police car and they spot two hunters on their smoke break from rounding up innocents.

Joel was going to take the left and she, the right (except Joel wasn’t going to kill his).

They close in on them and attack. Ellie stabs the right one in the throat. The hunter hardly had enough time to move before he was dead. Joel was already carrying his unconscious hunter away. He tilts his head at her to lift a broken fence.  She wipes her blade off on her thigh and sheaths it.  


\--  
  
It was drizzling outside and Ellie sits against the wall watching it out of a small chipped window. A thud and a yell came from the other room. Joel was interrogating the hunter but she didn’t need to be in there for it. It didn’t bother her much anymore but it bothered Joel for Ellie to see him like that; the torturer. She had seen him turn vicious on many but she understood and didn’t mind keeping occupied.

She took out her guitar from her bag. It was a little banged up since the last time she played. She needed to take better care of it. She tuned it and strummed the first few notes, testing out the sound in the room.

After a moment of silence and quiet breath, she began to play. She didn’t sing this time but playing afforded her the same fleeting joy. A muffled scream rang out from the other room and she strummed on. The rain was her backdrop; the dust and the bugs, her audience.

The scar on her arm (where she was bitten) still bothered her sometimes, even with the tattoo covering it up. At least now she can wear short sleeves without alarming anyone. It was still the ugliest thing to look at though and in some ways, she’s accepted it. It meant nothing now. It just served as a reminder of how she failed Riley, Tess, Sam and innumerable families she had never met.  

She glides her hand down the strings and then stops. It’s quiet now, except for the pitter patter of rain against the windowsill. The man in the other room must be dead.

She puts away her guitar and stands, grabbing her bag. Out in the main room, which used to be a living room, was Joel cleaning his knife. Ellie would guess years ago, a family watched movies in this very room, oblivious to the future. Blood stained the floor beneath the limp body of the hunter who was silent and slumped in a chair.

Joel said nothing. He just stood there, silent and wiping his blade with a stained cloth.

“Well…what did he say?” Ellie's voice seems loud in the quiet house.

“Nothin’. We need to find ‘nother one.”  


\--  
  
Joel was on his fourth hunter now and it was dark out; starless like the void. She hated staring up at the sky for too long.

She walked around the house this time, picking the weeds like she was making a bouquet. Her flashlight flickered and she smacked it twice. She could hear muffled voices within the house. Maybe the hunter actually knew something this time. Joel was a good bullshit detector.

She let the weeds fall from her hands and she leans against the siding, looking out to the trees which swayed in the wind. It had stopped raining but everything was still wet and smelled of muddy earth.

A twig snaps and catches her attention. She waits a moment, to see if a clicker charges out but nothing does. A feeling of unease rests over her and she begins to walk towards the front of the house.

Before she gets there, someone grabs her from behind, covering her mouth with their dirty hand.

“You’ve been capturing my friends.” The gruff voice says and Ellie bites down hard on the flesh of his finger. He lets out a yell and she kicks backward sending them both off balance. She hadn’t realized there was a steep hill beside the house but she figures it out when she’s rolling down the cliff side. A twig cuts open her cheek, just missing her eye. It was a hard tumble. She can’t get a hold of anything, it just slips through her fingers. The twigs and rocks lash out at her, knicking her fingers. Finally, reaching the ground, the breath is knocked from her. A small stick protruded from her shoulder but she hardly felt it. She gasps when she rips it free.  The man that attacked her was very much alive and he runs at her full speed, knocking them both back down into the dirt. He wraps his hands around her throat and begins to choke her. She kicks and tries to buck him off but he was too heavy. She fumbles for her knife while gasping against his tightening grip.

The dark sky beckoned above and she couldn’t seem to reach it. She knees him, uncoordinated in her attempt but it isn’t enough for her to break free. She was going to lose consciousness. She searched the ground frantically with her fingers to find a big enough rock but there was nothing but small twigs and dirt in her reach. The murderous eyes above her started to look pleased with the turn of events.

Was this some kind of joke? Was this really how she was going to go? Underneath that void of a sky?

Out of the trees, something lunges, snatching the man that was attacking her with vicious precision. A line of blood smacks her in the face from the effort and she sucks in air. There’s a sound of tearing flesh not far from her and she coughs towards the sky. She had to get out of here. Whatever it was, would come for her next. She rolled onto her side, still gathering air.

She sees what appears to be the dog, the one that resembled the wolf, ripping apart the man that had attacked her. There wasn’t much left of him by the looks of it. She stands slowly and catches the dogs attention. It turns to her, it’s muzzle dripping with crimson.

She stands stock-still afraid to make any sudden moves. The dog just looks at her, the viciousness faded, it _wasn’t_ going to attack her. But why? What did she do to earn that?

Ellie crouches down then and holds out her hand slowly in front of her. The dog shakes its fur, sending some of the blood flying from its mouth and slowly begins to walk over to her. Maybe she was insane to try this and maybe she was wrong but call it a gut feeling. If she gets eaten there won’t be anyone around to say: _I told you so._

“ELLIE!” Joel’s voice screams from far off.  The dog backs away and then retreats, quick, into the foliage.

“Dammit…” Ellie huffs, quietly.

She stands up straight and grabs her bag. The guitar would definitely be damaged, she’d have to see the full of extent of it when she had the time. 

“I’M HERE!” Ellie calls back and limps towards the nearest tree trunk to use it for support. She still felt disoriented from the attack. The adrenaline was leaving her. She could hear Joel rushing down the hillside. He was going to attract all the clickers to them with how loud his footsteps were. She sees him burst out of the trees close to the creek bed and she calls to him again.  When he reaches her, he immediately checks her over with his eyes. “What in the hell happened?” He asks.

“A hunter grabbed me and we fell down here. He was going to kill me…” She stops and his eyes harden, waiting for her to continue. “Then the dog, the dog I told you about in the fog? It jumped out and just tore the hunter apart. It saved me.”

“Jesus…” Joel exclaims and Ellie points to the hunters remains.  He moves back and glances in the direction of the bloody mess that used to be a man. “You’re lucky that wasn’t you.”

“It didn’t want to hurt me. It was protecting me.” Ellie says and she can feel a smile tugging at her lips.

“Ellie…” Joel sighs.

“It was! It wasn’t going to hurt me, Joel. I fucking know it.”

Joel was studying her again, he touched her shoulder and she cringed. “Are you hurt?”

“Just some cuts and bruises. I’ll live.” Ellie replies and limps towards the tree line.

“The climb back is steep.” Joel surmises and Ellie knew what he was getting at.

“You aren’t carrying me. I can climb a hill just fine.”

Joel nods once, “Alright then.”

The hill was difficult, to say the least. She had to try and keep her expression stoic but her side ached from the healing bullet wound and her shoulder burned like a motherfucker. Joel would look at her every so often and she’d keep her lips in a straight line. She was _fine_.

They made it to the top and she practically collapsed against the wall inside the house.

“Your shoulder needs to be cleaned…” Joel states.

“I know.”

“The bandage on your—“ He starts but she interrupts with, “I know.”

She glances at his face and she could see a hint of amusement there.  For a moment, she could pretend this was years ago and their mission was to save the world again. She could pretend there were no lies. She could pretend there was a place called Jackson, perpetually waiting for them; stuck in time.


	8. Guardian

Out beyond the highway, where the trees stick so close together that hardly any light could filter through, there’s a small house.  A rusted truck sits on the path that’s still usable and even a tire swing remains on a frayed rope, hanging from a crooked tree. Vines wrapped themselves inside the windows of this house and soon they’d pull it down into the earth.

This was where Daniel had been last seen, according to the hunter that Joel carved up. This was riskier than any of the other places they’ve found. This seemed almost like a resting place for that nameless group. The pack. Ellie had taken to calling them that in her head. Not that those fuckers deserved a name for what they were.

They had found a cave cut into a rock, that was far enough away where they couldn’t be spotted but Joel still didn’t want to start a fire. He sat with his back to the wall, cleaning one of his guns. He periodically looked out of the cave entrance to the forest beyond.

There was something off about these woods. Ellie felt it like an itch she didn’t know the origin of. It made her feel restless, too uneasy to sleep, no matter how much Joel pestered her to.

“What is it?” Joel asks and she shouldn’t be surprised he could sense how tense she was.

“I can’t get comfortable.”

Joel wipes his hands on the dirty cloth. “There are worst places to sleep.”  

He seemed comfortable enough but she’s pretty sure he was just oblivious to it. Too many creepy places explored for him not to be desensitized.   

“Something is off.  I feel like we’re being watched.”

“We ain’t. I’d know.” Joel responds, confidently.

“Oh, you’d know huh? You can see through all those trees?” Ellie asks and points out of the entrance of the cave.

“Get some rest, Ellie. We’re fine.” Joel sets the dirty cloth back inside his bag, “Gimme your guitar.”

She smiles a little, she can’t help it.

Her guitar was dented and some of the strings had snapped from her fall down the steep hillside. She takes it carefully out of the bag and holds it out to him.

She slides her eyes back to the entrance of the cave. She thinks of the wild dog that saved her and its beautiful grayish fur. It was out there somewhere too and that at least brought her comfort.  


\--

The wind sounds like a choir of moans against the cave and it keeps her awake. She turns on her side facing the rock wall, her backpack as a pillow. She watches the shadows which look like cave paintings. If she squints, she can pretend they are.

The wind suddenly goes silent and it’s so quiet. Had Joel fallen asleep?

She rolls over and realizes with bewilderment that she wasn’t in the cave any longer. She was in her old bed in Jackson.

This was a nightmare. It had to be.

She sits up from the bed, her hands shaking. She presses her palms together to calm them but it never works. Her room never had much in it to begin with but it was the one space she could call her own. It was more than enough. She stands from the bed and walks to the open doorway that leads to the hall. Joel’s bedroom was across the way but the door was open and it was dark inside. He wasn’t there.

She walks down the creaky steps. The night faded to daylight and the colors were warm. The sunlight kissed the wood floor with soft bright shapes between the shadows. She was home. This was their home. She could hear Tommy’s voice coming from the living room. He was speaking with Joel but they weren’t arguing for once. Maria steps out of the kitchen when Ellie reaches the bottom of the stairs and smiles at Ellie. Her face was bathed in light from the open window and the wind sent some papers dancing across the wooden table.

“Are you going to let me cut your hair today?” Maria asks, smirking.

Ellie was speechless, her words caught in her throat, her eyes were blurring.

“Ye-yes…yes I will.” Ellie manages and Maria winks at her before walking into the living room where Tommy and Joel were. Ellie stood in the small foyer looking down the hall and she could hear soft laughter.  She didn’t belong here. Not this Ellie, but she didn’t care. She needed to stay here. Could she stay? Just for a little while longer.

She chanced walking further down the hall and finally reached the living room.  She set her hand on the door frame, reverently and peeked inside. Tommy spots her and gives her a smile, which makes Joel turn to face her with an expression of something that resembled happiness. They were all looking at her and smiling and it should have been creepy but for once it wasn’t.

“You want to eat with us, Ellie?” Tommy asks.

There was a rushing in her ears like the sound of waves crashing on the shore of a beach. The happy faces blurred in front of her. She was losing them again.  She reaches out as if that could stop them from disappearing and hits her hand on something solid. The motion startles her awake. She had hit the rock wall with her hand. She turns over, looking to see that Joel had fallen asleep with her guitar in his lap. The moonlight painted a glow over his form.

She sat up, touching her neck and swallowing against her hand. She knew it was bruised and it was painful to swallow. She yawns and then stops herself suddenly when she hears what sounds like tires moving very slowly on gravel. She stays on her knees and crawls slowly to the entrance of the cave.

She peeks around the jagged corner that opened out to the woods and sees a rusted truck not far from the cave. It was parked with the engine on. The headlights blink on, blinding her and she startles back into the cave, falling to the ground on her elbows.

“Joel!” She scrambles over to him and he jerks awake. “There’s a truck outside the cave. I don’t think they saw me.”

He sits up quick, his tiredness forgotten and crouches, while motioning for her to get her bag. She shoves her partially repaired guitar inside and swings it over her shoulder. He has his shotgun out and he’s knelt down by the entrance. She stands still, quieting her breathing.

Joel looks alarmed. “Move to the back and crouch down in the corner over there.” He says and points.

“Why?” Ellie breathes.

“Ellie!” He snaps and she complies, pulling her handgun out of her bag.

She presses her back to the cave and crouches down in the semi-darkness. The cave wasn’t very big and it’s not as if someone couldn’t see her if they were to walk inside it, especially with a flashlight at their disposal.

There were footsteps nearing the cave and her grip on the handgun tightens as she moves it up in front of her. A beam of a light hit the entrance of their cave and she released a slow silent breath.

Her heart almost leaps out of her chest when Joel fired his shotgun.

“Fuck…” She exclaimed and then there were gunshots. Joel moved back and crouched down behind a small protruding rock. It wouldn’t provide much cover.

“Screw this…” She moves across from him to the other side of the cave but he didn’t have time to be angry with her. A man approached with a shotgun and Ellie fired three times, hitting him twice in the chest and once in the neck.  There were more and they were yelling. Ellie chanced a glance at Joel as he moved quickly to her side of the cave. The truck was revving up. Were they leaving?

Her answer came when they rammed the front of the truck into the entrance of the cave. It was too small for them to drive into but it sent rocks tumbling down and part of the wall caved in at the back. The truck had them trapped inside. The headlights were blinding. She knew it had only been a matter of time before they knew someone was after them. Ellie would suspect it was after Lila’s death that they started putting the pieces together.

Gunshots rang out in the small space and Joel fired the shotgun while crouching in front of her. She could feel the kickback from his shoulder against her chest. One of the men had climbed inside as Joel was reloading and Ellie stood, emptying what was left of her clip into him.

“How many of these fuckers are there?” Ellie asks and Joel grunts moving his shotgun up, ready to fire.

The answer was three. There were three more and Joel got one, while Ellie was able to use her knife on the other one when he got stuck between the tire and the rock wall. The third guy ran into the woods.

There was no time to even catch their breath. They squeezed past the truck that was lodged in the entrance of the cave and ran.  


\--

Ellie crouched down tying her muddied shoelaces as Joel surveyed their surroundings. The forest was thick here, no room for buildings. There were plenty of rocks to hide behind.

There was a scream out in the forest and then the sound of tearing flesh.  Ellie stood up quick. Her and Joel exchanged glances. He looked spooked. Ellie wasn’t though, she knew.

“It’s the dog. It followed us.” She says and she smiles, it must look odd to Joel because he tilts his head at her.

“I’m not sure that’s cause for celebratin’” He says with the shake of his head.

“I’m telling you, it’s not here to hurt us.”

“Why is that exactly?” He asks, keeping his shotgun up. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it knows we're not…” She stops, looking down at her shoes.  


_….not the bad guys._  


Joel is waiting for her to finish her sentence but she doesn’t.

“Hungry animals need to eat, Ellie. They ain’t got a reason beyond that.” 

“You’re wrong.” She states and he huffs.

A small smile remains on her face and she looks out to the darkened trees beyond. She knows Joel is looking at her but he doesn’t say anything. They stand back to back and she should be terrified, out in the mud, with nothing but monsters for company.

She’s okay. She’s okay with dying here if need be but for the first time in a long while she thinks they’ll be alright. Maybe she really was losing it but that’s okay too.

Joel’s voice is soft when he says, “I saw it too.”

“What? The dog?”

“When we had a fire goin’. It was just standin’ next to the trees. It didn’t do nothin’, but it didn’t stick around.“

“I told you!” Ellie whispers and hits him once on the shoulder.

The trees all sway in unison, each carrying the other, each part of a whole. For a moment, she thinks she sees eyes flash in the deep dark but they don’t appear again.


	9. An Offering

Joel knew sitting out in the open, against a rock in the middle of the forest, was a pretty stupid idea but Ellie had fallen asleep against his shoulder and he didn’t have the heart to move.  He still had his shotgun ready in case anything got any ideas but it was quiet.

He stares into those dark woods and thinks of something he hadn’t thought of in years or allowed himself to. He thinks of when he used to camp with Sarah. They made smores underneath the moon and she told better horror stories than he ever could. She was afraid of the dark even though she pretended not to be.

The woods are darker now than they were twenty-five years ago. The light was being eaten away by something created when the world went silent.

There’s a screech and he stiffens. He could see the outline of a clicker moving along the trees. It was just the one, from what he could tell and he relaxes a little. He keeps watch on it until it shambled further from his sight. 

Ellie was saying something in her sleep and she was shaking. No doubt having a nightmare. Her head still remained on his shoulder. He set his hand on her arm, over the scar and she calms.

\--

Two Months Ago  


_“What about Marlene? What happened to Marlene?” Ellie’s eyes were wild and tears stained her cheeks._  


_“…she didn’t give me a choice.”_  


_“Oh god…oh my god.” Ellie holds her hand to her mouth, her eyes welling up with horror. She’s finally seeing the monster that he is. He knew it was only a matter of time._  


_“She was okay with letting you die and I wasn’t,” Joel states, calmly._  


_Ellie shakes her head, sniffing once before straightening her posture and schooling her face. The expression she gave him was cold, calculating like she just shut herself down._  


_“How did you do it?” She asks, hiding the shakiness of her voice._  


_Joel holds his hands up and turns away from her. “Ellie…that don’t matter.”_  


_“TELL ME!” She screamed and it carried throughout the house. He would bet the entirety of Jackson heard it._ _He leans on the kitchen counter and concentrates on the faucet. He presses his lips into a thin line and turns to face her.  She was standing there, looking emotionless, her face had no color to it._  


_“Marlene didn’t give a damn about anything but her cause. You know that.” Joel says and his voice wavers, betraying his calm facade._  


_“Did you shoot her?” Ellie continues._  


_Joel’s anger was boiling up in his chest. “I did and I’d do it again!” He grits._  


_It may have been true but he regrets saying it the moment it leaves his mouth. Her face falls and that stoic act she was putting on, had vanished. She’s utterly devastated._ _He wanted to tell her that Marlene didn’t deserve her tears but that wouldn’t be the right thing to say either._  


_“It was all for nothing.” She says before leaving the room and leaving him in that suffocating silence._  


\--

Present  


“Ellie…”

Joel stands far enough away to catch the whole grotesque scene before them. In the daylight, while trudging through the forest they found a clearing. In this clearing, was a large tree in the center. Its roots springing forth from the dirt and twisting its way around the other trees that surrounded it. On this tree, was about dozen people hanging from their necks with ropes. They littered the branches like Christmas decorations.

Ellie was looking up at it, lost and silent.

“Ellie…” He tries again. He didn’t like standing here.

A crow caws down at him as if to remind him they weren’t welcome here.

He steps closer to Ellie who was standing as still as a statue. He sets his hand gently on her shoulder and it’s as if she wakes again.

“You alright?” He asks.

“I’m fine.” She says, apathetic. He lets his hand drop to his side and she walks from the tree towards the forest again. She adds, “Daniel’s turn today.”

He walks next to her between the trees as the sun becomes blocked by the many leaves.

It was likely that Daniel and the men who traveled with Daniel, hanged those people from the tree. The strange thing was if it was a warning, it seemed to be an odd place to put it. To Joel, it seemed more like an offering. To whom or what? Joel didn’t much care or want to know.

He knew from what had happened in Jackson that these… _people_ weren’t like the hunters. They were more organized and believed in something beyond surviving. He remembered the man they called The Wolf, their leader. He wore an animal skull for a mask and stood silent while others burned. They were deranged.

Joel knew they were close to the house that Daniel was seen at, at least close enough to catch a glimpse of its dark vine covered form. It was like something disguised as a house but was something else entirely.

Ellie and Joel knelt down behind a rock and beyond it, the trees opened up to the overgrown property. The sky was a bright gray, which tinted the area with gloom. A dusting of fog lingered in the background. Nothing good happened here. _Nothing_.

Joel has seen his fair share of bad places and he recognized that feeling in his gut. The uneasy dread that made him clutch his gun and breathe a little quieter.

There was no movement coming from the house, except for the wind which blew through the leaves, that collected along the sunken porch. Ellie gets up to move closer and Joel grabs her arm. He whispers, “No. Not this time. This time, you do what I say, when I say it.”

He hopes he conveys just how serious he is about this. He didn’t want her running in there. Not that _place_.

She nods once, before crouching back down next to him.

He says, “They are expectin’ us.”

He motions her to follow him and they sneak along the perimeter of the property. The windows were pitch black and a few had been boarded up. He didn’t like this at all.

They make their way to the back of the house. Vines encapsulated the walls and had climbed their way inside any crevice the place had. There was another tree at the back with yet another poor bastard that had been hanged.

What did his gut tell him? It told him to get the hell out of there.

“Ellie…” He tries and she actually turns to him, paying attention. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“What? We are right here, Joel. Right here.” Ellie looks angry as he expected she would.

“We ain’t even sure if Daniel is even here.”

She clenched her jaw and looked down at the dying patch of grass beneath her feet. He knew then that she had been feeling it too. That instinct to run. Which was why he suspects she doesn’t put up much of a fight.

She sighs in frustration. “Well, what do we do then?”

“We find a place to hole up and we stake this place out for a while. We see who comes and goes.”

That was the approach they were originally going to take until they were attacked in the cave, but trying to convince Ellie this, would have been almost impossible. She had to see it, she had to feel it.

Joel glances up at the two broken back windows and like dark eyes, it peers at them sightless but aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short but it was meant to set up the next few parts relating to this particular house. I have a lot written already and I plan on posting a chapter a day unless something changes. I hope whoever is reading this, is still enjoying it! Thank you :)


	10. Vanished

The wind whipped, viciously around her, carving patterns in the overgrown grass. It sounded like whispers to Ellie but she couldn’t make out the words. She crouched in the grass looking towards that house; the creepiest house she’d ever seen. The house Daniel was supposed to be in.

Her and Joel had found a shack about a mile away that they were going to stay in to stake this place out. Joel had fallen asleep, using his bag as a pillow and she had secured the door and snuck out to where she was now, overlooking this house. He would be furious if he woke up but she wouldn’t be long and she hoped he’d still be asleep when she got back. It was probably a stupid idea, but sometimes stupid ideas get things done. Or at least she told herself that while sneaking here.

It was so windy, it felt like she could blow away. One of the hinges on a back window was creaking in the wind and smacking against the siding, it startled her several times before she grew used to it. There was no way someone was living there. The place looked abandoned, there weren’t any signs of life. No assholes standing on the back porch itching for a fight. Nothing. The windows that weren’t boarded up were pitch dark. The shoes of the person hanging from the tree were knocking together.

She waits there for a while until the wind grew too difficult to deal with and she heads back to the shack. She crosses the creek which separates the trees and there, hidden amongst the weeds is the eroded shack. When she creeps inside she is thankful that Joel was still asleep.

\--

They eat lunch, which was a cold can of beans since Joel was paranoid about having a fire going. She couldn’t blame him. They didn’t want that cave incident to happen here again. He was finally able to finish fixing her guitar though and she strummed it quietly while he checked his guns over. It felt like routine. It felt familiar.  

“I want you to stay here.” He says quietly as if he had been practicing it in his head.

“What? Why? Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna see what I can see at that house. I want you here.” He says, pointing at her. Ellie sets down her guitar and crosses her legs, glaring at him.

“I’m coming with you.”

“No. I won’t be gone long. I want you to do inventory on our bullets and food while I’m gone.” He says this while getting up. 

“You can’t be fucking serious? I swear to god if you go in there without me I will kick your ass.” Ellie supplies and Joel smiles a little, shaking his head.

“I ain’t goin’ in nowhere. I promise.” He sets his hand to his heart and picks up his shotgun from the floor.

“I don’t like this!” Ellie calls to him as he opens the door.

“Yes. I can tell. Keep this door barred.” He says and leaves.

Ellie could obviously follow him but she doesn’t this time. She bars the door as he asks and looks out the tiny window at his retreating form. He disappears in the brush and it’s suddenly so dark. She strikes a match and lights the lantern.  It doesn’t afford her much comfort but she tries not to think on it too much.

\--

Ellie wakes up to the pattering of rain outside. She hadn’t realized she fell asleep. She did the inventory as Joel had asked and started reading an old book by the lantern with its cover torn off. She must have fallen asleep then.  She yawns quietly and sits up, noticing it was starting to become light outside. Her heart skips and she stands up quick. Joel wasn’t here. He wasn’t back.  Was it already morning? That can’t be right.

“What the fuck?!” She exclaims aloud and immediately grabs her bag. She opens the door to the outside to hear the birds singing of all things. The sound of the creek made everything appear peaceful, untouched and blissfully unaware.

“Joel?” She asks the bushes but as expected there was no reply.

She walks the mile it takes to get back to that house and still sees no sign of him on the way. She arrives, to the spot where she hid in the grass to observe the house and there was nothing out of the ordinary. The house sat, silent, with its windows dark.

“Joel?” She whispers and a few crows take flight from the trees, startling her. She sneaks along the grass towards the side of the house, keeping her distance. There was a water pump, rusted and dried up with age. There are cobwebs across it, that had woven themselves into the vines.

The house creaks and the wind moans, as if it was just waking up but nothing stirs.

There was no sign of Joel.

She sits and listens in that _pure_ silence. She waits for something to move and to draw her attention elsewhere but it was just this house, alone.

She moves to the back of the house again and the broken back door beckons her closer. She didn’t have a choice.

Nearing the house was terrifying. It was menacing in its disquiet. She hated how exposed she felt as she moved slowly through the grass. It was just waiting there. It could wait forever.

She let out a slow shaky breath and moved quickly towards the wall of the house, where she crouched down again away from the windows. She slid around the corner and the back door was much closer now. She was in its grasp and nothing appeared out of the ordinary. No one jumped out at her, there wasn’t even a sound. She couldn’t even hear the birds anymore. It was just…silent.

She pulls out her handgun and moves it in front of her as she nears the broken back door. She could hear a windowsill banging softly inside from the wind. She even waited, listening in the doorway but the pattern was repeated. Nothing of note.

Inside everything was covered in vines. Old dried leaves collected along the floor in piles, next to broken moss covered furniture. She kept her back to the wall as she turned a corner, holding her gun out in front of her. She let out a quick breath as she made her way inside the living room. The furniture inside was also covered in decaying plants. There were no spores though, from what she could see.

This place didn’t look lived in, it looked abandoned many years ago. There were pictures along the wall taken over by vines, as if those people and places in the pictures never existed.

It was still so eerily silent, except for that soft banging of the windowsill. Joel wasn’t here, he can’t have been. This place was like a forgotten museum.

“Joel?” She tries, she didn’t even care anymore if someone heard her. She just wanted to find him. 

This whole thing was fucking stupid. They spend days out here watching this house and there’s nothing even here.

There was a thud and Ellie immediately turned, pointing her gun in the direction she heard it. It had come from a door. A door she assumed led to the basement. The odd thing about this door was, was that it wasn’t covered in vines like all the rest. It had been used and maybe used often. She swallows and reaches for the doorknob. She twists it but it sticks. It was locked.

“Shit…” She breathes and considers bashing her gun against the knob.

Faint whistling manifested from outside of the house and she turns, her heart a hammer as she points the gun at the windows. There was a shadow that crossed over part of the furniture. Someone was here.

“Come out, fucker!” Ellie calls, and breathes, calming her nerves. The whistling ceases and she waits, backing up into the wall and keeping her gun pointed at the hallway. If anyone so much as peeks she’ll fire.

“Where is he?!” She asks.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Everything was silent again. She knew these assholes had Joel. That was the only explanation.

“Daniel…” Ellie calls. She stands, trapped against the wall at the end of the hallway. She had enough bullets to take out several. She was ready. She had to be.

A board creaked to her left and she switched her gun between the doorways. If she had pressed her back anymore into the wall she’d meld with it. The board creaked to her right this time.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

Her hands were steady, she was ready to fire. She crouched down and moved slowly along the wall. She could see shoes. Someone was standing around the corner, waiting. 

She slides quick along the wall, keeping crouched down, and fires at the dark shape of a man. He falls to the ground with a surprised grunt. She musters her courage and practically crawls over to him.

The guy was wearing an animal skull as a mask. Blood pooled on the floor from the wounds she inflicted. A board creaks and someone with a shotgun fires at her from across the room. It misses her and creates a hole in the wall where she had just been at a few moments before. There was no panicking though. She was cool. She was calm. This was _fine_. She stands up from her crouching position and fires twice, sending the other guy with the shotgun to the ground. She crouched down once again and could hear him moaning, he was still alive. He was struggling on the floor and reaching for his shotgun but she quickly kicked it from his grasp. Her handgun was firmly in her right hand and pointing at him.  He wasn’t wearing a mask, he didn’t look like anything special, curly dark hair and a dirty face. The crazy fuck started laughing though and it came out as a wheeze. 

“Where is he?” She asks him, gruffly.

He just laughs and laughs as if he knew a secret she didn’t. She fired once, shooting him dead. He wasn’t laughing anymore. She feels someone grab her from behind. They were breathing heavy like they had been running and she kicks back forcefully but he doesn’t let her go.  “Stupid bitch.” He spits. She kicks back again but this time he sets a knife to her throat.

She sees a younger man, now standing in the doorway. He looked around her age and he wasn’t smiling like the rest. She grunts, “How many of you fuckers are there?”  She moves a little, testing the little space she had and feels the knife against her throat nick her skin. The young man in the doorway looked at her with a sigh. He looked bored.

“Take her and plant her with the others.” He says quickly with the lift of his hand.

“Daniel…” She grits between her teeth. He doesn’t look surprised or amused.

He replies, “I’m going to give your life some purpose.”

“I’m going to kill you.” She whispers and he shakes his head.

Before the barbarian could take her away, she hears a low rumbling growl from behind them. Daniel’s bored expression had changed into something resembling terror. 

“What the fuck!” He exclaims and then the man that had a hold of her was pounced on, sending them both to the ground. She quickly grabbed the knife that had fallen from his grasp and watched as that familiar dog that had saved her before tore the guy to pieces. Daniel was running now, away from the house towards a field that led to the forest. Ellie stood with a shaky breath. She pulls out her machete from the strap on her back, as the dog was finishing its meal. It looks at her again with those soft, knowing eyes.

She says, “Time for a hunt.”


	11. Specters

The dreary field was before them, opening up to the darkened wood as if it were a doorway Ellie was about to pass through.

_No turning back._

Daniel pushes his way through the brush, aimlessly. He disappears from her sight. The machete was gripped in her hand at her side. The dog was with her too. The two of them were dark silhouettes, smudged against the horizon. Ellie knew that calling the dog, ‘dog’ wouldn’t suffice. She needed a name for her. Something that meant something. Something with a purpose.

They stalked through those overgrown fields, towards the dark trees that looked like far away giants, idling on the hillside.  Ellie suspects even before the outbreak this forest looked much the same. Maybe it has always held its secrets close. There was something ancient and feral about it much like her canine companion.

The dog took the lead running ahead through the brush.  Daniel was in there, she could even hear him, snapping twigs in his wake. She shakes her head and waits. There was a loud yell and a growl as Ellie used the machete to push through the leaves. In a small wild clearing, she spotted Daniel, trying to crawl through the grass with a bloody leg. The dog was watching him and looked to Ellie for instruction.

She walks over to Daniel and stands above him as he rolls over on his back. She brings up the machete into the air as if she was ready to deliver what she had promised. Daniel screams, holding his hands up in front of him.

Ellie huffs a small laugh, “I’m just messing with you, Daniel. I need you alive.”

Ellie flips the machete and brings the handle down onto his head, knocking him unconscious. The dog pants and runs ahead, understanding everything without Ellie uttering a word.

\--

The moon casts a glow down in through the window as Daniel starts to open his eyes. His head was bleeding and had stained the side of his forehead.

The problem was, bringing him back to the shack. She had to drag him all that way through the brush. 

He moved against his restraints and blinked, confused at first.

“Say hello to the moon,” Ellie says.

He sits up a little and squints at her but remains silent. There was nothing behind his eyes. Nothing at all. Did it scare her? No. But it made things _easier_.

“Where is he?” She asks, right to the point.

Daniel blinks at her, that bored bravado making its appearance again. “You’ve no idea what you’re getting yourself into.” He says, calmly, as if he had the upper hand here.

“Oh, I’ve been in it for a long fucking time, Daniel,” Ellie says.

Daniel gives her a short laugh at that and says, “You’ve no idea.”

The dog slinks behind Ellie quietly and paces around Daniel. It seemed to make him nervous.

“Where. Is. Joel?” Ellie punctuates.

The wind whips against the shack and it sounds like it’s whispering again. Even the dog’s ears perk up. She wants to know what the wind wanted to tell her. Would it tell her the truth?

“Who. Is. Joel?” Daniel mockingly asks. Ellie’s eyes darken. He laughs, wide and unapologetic.

She shoves her small knife into his kneecap.

\--

A Month Ago

_Oh god she’s really leaving, isn’t she? She’s doing it._

_She throws together whatever clothes she sees into a crumbled pile inside her old bag. She was going to leave her guitar. He gave her that guitar and taught her how to play. She didn’t need to take it where she was going._

_She needed to find the Fireflies again. She needed to fulfill her purpose. The purpose that Joel took from her._

_He murdered Marlene._

_“Fuck!” She screams into the room. What was wrong with her? She should be out the door by now._

_She started to sob then, the kind that hurt her stomach. The kind that caved her face in and made her wail at the walls._

_Fuck it. She needed to do it now._

_She grabs her bag and practically runs down the stairs. Joel is approaching her from her periphery and she swings the front door open._

_“Where are you goin’?” Joel calls and she walks out to the porch of the house she called home for five years._

_“I’m leaving.” She says, without turning around._

_“Let’s talk about this.” Joel states but there was no ‘talking’ about this._

_She walks forward and his voice cracks a little when he calls her name, “Ellie.”_

_He was upset. She could tell without turning around. She started crying again and her shoulders shook from the force of it but she couldn’t turn back, she couldn’t look at him._

_“I can’t be here anymore,” Ellie says, softly._

_Her mind was made up and she did the hardest thing she had done in…well ever. She left. She couldn’t think about what Joel would do with her gone. Would he look for her? Did she want him to? Maybe. No. She didn’t know. What the fuck was wrong with her?_

_Once she found her way outside of the gates of Jackson she didn’t look back. She just walked. She didn’t even know where she was going and she didn’t care. She didn’t have a home anymore and it was stupid to think she ever did. She shouldn’t have trusted it._

_It isn’t long before she falls to her knees in the middle of the forest and weeps. Her hands were pressed into the dirt and she felt a part of herself die._

_After a while, she stood up and wiped her face with her sleeve. Her feet carry her further away from everything she knew or cared to know._

\--

Present

“WHERE IS HE?!”

In another universe, where this hell never sprang forth, Ellie thinks her and Daniel could have gone to the same college. They could have studied similar things or been in the same classes. She wonders what made him a monster; being born into this, like she was?

She wipes the blood from her knife.

_Funny how things turn out._

“We’re going to give you a purpose,” Daniel whispers. Blood stained his teeth. She had been too harsh with the blade. He was going to bleed out.

“What did you do to him?” Ellie asks; her voice calm.

“They are coming for you,” Daniel says and he stares at her with half-lidded eyes. She watches him lean back and look to the ceiling as if he was hearing something she was unable to hear.

Ellie steps out of the shack for a moment and sets her back to the splintered wood. She closes her eyes and listens to the silence that surrounds her. She doesn’t know what to do. Ellie looked down at her hands stained in Daniel’s blood. She thought of palm readers then, fortune tellers, magic-8-balls, an abandoned mall and a Halloween shop. She couldn’t remember what Riley’s laugh sounded like. How could she forget something that important? What was happening to her?

She opens her eyes slowly and for a second spots Riley by an overgrown tree near the creek bed. She doesn’t flinch or startle, she just stares.

“You coming to wake me from the nightmare?” Ellie asks the wind. She was so tired.

The next time she blinks Riley is gone and there’s a shadow where she saw her standing as if a scar was left behind, burned into the bark. “I’m sorry.” She says to the tree.

Ellie didn’t want to stay outside with the ghosts any longer. They had too much to say without speaking a word.

Daniel wasn’t going to talk and she couldn’t do this anymore. She was going to lose it if she continued. The only lead she had was that door that was locked in the vine-covered house. It would have to do.

When she steps back inside she notices how still and silent Daniel is, slumped in the chair. Ellie kicks his shoe and he doesn’t stir. She reaches forward slowly and presses her fingers to his pulse point. There was none. He had bled out.

Ellie pulled her hand back quickly and blinked in silence. His skin was so pale. She swallows thinking of Joel. She hadn’t failed him yet. She wouldn’t fail him.

The dog sat quietly in front of her. Her eyes conveying a calm gentleness that tamed Ellie’s mind. Those eyes kept her from screaming, kept her here in the present moment.

“What’s your name?” Ellie asks and the dog watches her silent.

She had been thinking of one for a while now.

Bridge, Chord, Fret…

Root.

 _Root_ note defines the key of a chord. It defines the chord. Joel would probably hate it, much like he hated the name Callus for their horse.

_Callus_

She still missed him and always would.

She grabs her bag and opened the door to the outside (she wouldn’t be coming back here).

“What do you think of Root?” She asks and the dog tilts her head before slinking ahead into the forest. It was becoming night and the fog was sweeping in, like a tide.

A dark thought comes unbidden and she lets it fester. Joel was real, there are too many factors that proved that. She thought she was done with this thought pattern. Listening to the quiet of the forest though, she thinks of his green backpack, lying in the dirt in Jackson and the charred remains beside it.

_That wasn’t him and it wasn’t his backpack._

She was so distracted by her thoughts that Root’s growl snaps her out of it. There, at the back of the vine-covered house was a small group of people, all standing in a circle holding lanterns. Ellie quickly crouched and Root followed after her into some cover.

Ellie couldn’t make out what they were talking about but they were pointing into the woods and she could guess why. They were looking for her and Daniel.

The group fans out, heading towards the path Ellie was just on and she watches as their lantern lights pass eerily through the woods like specters.  


	12. The Garden

The night was suffocating against the horizon, it had no beginning or end. The fog crowded around the dark house. It seeped in the windows and doorways and crept down the steps into what used to be a garden.

Root had gone into the house first, brave as ever. Ellie slowly followed. Root sniffed the air and pawed at the locked door. She knew there was _something_ in there too.

Ellie brought down the butt of her pistol against the handle until it finally began to crack away from the old wood. It falls leaving a gaping black hole to the darkness beyond. This was her only lead and it had to be worth something. She pushes the door open to a small rickety set of stairs leading down beyond where she could see.

The smell hit and she coughed against it, covering her mouth with her arm. She knew that smell. Decay. Death.

Root traversed the stairs, disappearing quietly into the pitch below. Ellie followed, gripping onto the splintered railing in the hopes the stairs didn’t collapse with her on them. The smell was utterly disgusting and she was having a hard time focusing through it. It seemed to burn her nostrils and seep into her clothes. Ellie had her small flashlight on and the beam created shadows where there was none before. It gave the basement life and it seemed like the covered furniture was slowly creeping towards her. There wasn’t junk piled around, as she suspected most basements contained. This basement was for something else.

A small lantern light glowed in the corner illuminating the corpses of many that littered the floor. Some were chained to the wall and others just left in piles. Root whines in the background and moves inside, barking once. She looks to a darkened corner where it seemed someone was huddled. Someone alive.

Ellie kept her arm against her nose and held her gun up.

“Hello…” She says and the person in the corner slowly emerges.

It wasn’t Joel.

It was an older woman, skinny with graying hair to her shoulders. She’s wearing stained jeans and a dark t-shirt. She kept her eyes on Ellie as she stands. She wasn’t chained like some of the others.

“Is it my turn?” She asks and she looks…hopeful? Ellie wasn’t even going to ask what she meant by that.

“I’m looking for someone,” Ellie replies and looks back down at the corpses. Some of them so old that they were skeletons.

“Yes, yes, yes. Follow me.” The woman says as if Ellie was a guest to be shown around and she approaches her, keeping her gun up. Ellie cautiously steps back and the woman runs up the stairs towards the night.

“Wait!” Ellie calls and she runs quickly after her.  Root was right on the woman’s heels. 

Out of the house, the woman runs into that wretched forest. She didn’t know where they were going, it was so dark and nothing was familiar. Perhaps she wasn’t being very smart, chasing some stranger in the dark but she was desperate. Ellie knocks the brush out of her face as they run on, an aimless sort of panic taking her over.

They finally reach a clearing where the woman finally stops, catching her breath. She looks at Ellie with that strange hopefulness again.

Ellie stands still, afraid she would spook her and Root circles the perimeter. Ellie didn’t understand why the woman was living in the basement with the dead or who she was. If it was some kind of trial the woman was put through? Or if this woman was to be trusted, but she didn’t have time for that.

Ellie opens her bag and pulls out a can of peaches. The woman’s eyes follow it but she says nothing.

“Can you tell me if you saw a friend of mine?” Ellie holds out the can and the woman steps over to her, slowly. She didn’t seem afraid; more curious. She takes the can gently from Ellie. “His name is Joel, he..”

The woman interrupts, “Yes.”

She opens the can of peaches and begins to eat like an animal would. Ellie thinks she must have spoken to him, otherwise how else would she know it was him from just his name?

“Okay, that’s…that’s good. Where did you see him? How was he?” Ellie asks. Her flashlight started flickering, which made the woods the kind of dark that your eyes can’t even adjust to.

“The light can’t touch him.” She replies and Ellie squints at her. The woman drinks from the peach can and it dribbles down her chin messily.

“I don’t understand,” Ellie says and the woman points into the woods before throwing the can and walking without a word.

“Hold on a second...” Ellie tries but the woman walks on. 

Ellie looks to Root who was keeping a close watch on the stranger, her eyes flash in the darkness. They walk on, through a collection of spider webs. Brambles get caught in Ellie’s hair and twigs snap at her feet.

“Where are we going?” Ellie asks and keeps her gun at her side.

The woman says nothing, she just walks, as if she knew these woods like the back of her hand. It doesn’t sit right with Ellie. _Not at all._

After traipsing for far too long in the woods they come across a huge clearing that is in the shape of a circle, purposeful. Out ahead of her, several dozen mounds stretch beyond, like unmarked graves. Beyond the mounds, is a tree with a red ribbon tied around its trunk. The woman stops and points at the mounds with a small smile as if she thought this would make Ellie happy. As if she thought this would make sense.

“The light can’t touch him.” The woman repeats and points. Ellie felt her heart leap into her throat.

“What the fuck do you mean? These are unmarked graves.”

“The light can’t touch him.” She says and Ellie blinks, her hand tightening on her gun. The mounds sit silent, each spaced neatly from the other. This was done over a long period of time, years even. 

“What the fuck does that mean? Where is he?” Ellie was losing her last nerve.

The woman points to the ground and says, “they are seeds.”

“Where is he? Just tell me where he is.” Ellie doesn’t even try to hide her desperation and she was starting to shake.

The woman points to the mounds and says, “There. He’s there.”

“No. No he’s not there. That’s not…please just tell me where he is.” Ellie shakes her head.

The woman looks confused at Ellie’s reaction as if she expected her to be pleased. “He’s a seed.”

Ellie points the gun at her then but the woman doesn’t even flinch, she’s unfazed. She would shoot her if she had too.

_Who the fuck were these people?_

“He’s alive! Tell me where he is!” Ellie pleads, she was losing it. She was losing everything.

“Yes. He’s there.” The woman says and she’s smiling again.

“Show me where he is!” Ellie screams and it echoes past the mounds. Her voice is swallowed up by the trees.

The woman spreads her arms out towards the unmarked graves. “I wanted to be a seed too. He’s lucky. You’ll see.”

Ellie steadies her hands, keeping the gun pointed at the deranged woman. “I swear…I’ll fucking shoot you if you don’t show me!”

The woman looked pleased with herself. Ellie was done. She was done playing whatever kind of sick game this was.

“Which one is he…” Ellie asks, swallowing, hardly able to glance at the mounds of dirt.

“All and none.” The woman says and it infuriates Ellie. She walks closer and holds the gun point-blank to the woman’s face.

Ellie’s voice wavered, “I’m goin—g to count to three.”

She sees Root then, sniffing the mounds protruding from the Earth. 

“One…”

Root begins pawing at one and then digging. There’s a rushing sound in her ears again.

“Two..”

A dark cloud, heavy with rainwater creeps over the top of the trees and Root lifts her head and barks.

“He’s alive. Planted but not grown.” The woman spits.

That was all the motivation Ellie needed to run towards Root. She fell to her knees in the dirt and she began digging into the mound with her hands. Root dug into the Earth with her. She used whatever was around to carve into the soil. Ellie couldn't say how long this went on for. She couldn't even feel her hands any longer. She was just a machine, digging and digging. She'd dig to the core of the Earth. Luckily, it was shallow enough that she finally hit something wooden and solid. “Joel!” She yells.

There was faint banging coming from inside. Ellie exhales, the relief stung her eyes. “Joel! We got you.”

There was a shriek from behind her. The deranged woman charged at Ellie, knocking her to the ground.

“The garden! You’ve ruined the garden!” The woman cries. She was furious and grabbing at Ellie’s throat, viciously. Root snarled, baring her teeth. She pounced, snatching the woman quick, pulling her off Ellie.

Ellie closed her eyes tight, releasing a shaky breath when the woman was silenced.

“We got you…” She repeated in a whisper, towards the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next will be Joel's POV and soon I'll be able to label the exact number of chapters for this entire fic. Thank you for reading!


	13. Tethered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning: This chapter has a minor claustrophobic element to it. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

He was careless.

He should have been paying closer attention. He should have known those men were sneaking up on him in that field. He should have listened for them. He was tired. What does he get for not sleeping?

Not only did they fail at knocking him completely unconscious, but they also weren’t very good at carrying his dead weight. They dragged him through that field with grunts and curses, as if he was an irritated sack of potatoes. He was taken into the woods where he couldn’t see shit. Joel thinks at one point a twig cut open his leg and left a small trail of blood beneath.

He remembers a woman’s smiling face above his and chains pulling taut against his wrists.

“You’re going to be a seed!” She said excitedly and Joel couldn’t muster the strength to move. The stench of death was all around him.

They threw him in the dirt and it flung into his eyes and mouth. He couldn’t blink away the sting. There was nothing but that rhythmic sound of a shovel, scraping the Earth. Then the quiet.

\--

It wasn’t until around the third year of living in Jackson, that Joel decided to take off the broken watch Sarah had given him. He had it sitting on his bedside table, still, as a reminder and sometimes he’d find himself grabbing his wrist when it wasn’t there. It was fine though. It was more than fine.

Is that what this whole healing thing was about? He never thought he could. He didn’t allow himself that luxury. Healing was for good people; someone more deserved. It had felt nice to have his own place again and have it be something that Tommy helped build. It meant something.

It meant something to see Ellie making friends and building a life for herself. A life that the Fireflies were going to take away.

Did he dare say he was content?

There was a scratching sound in the background that drew his eyes out of the window to the bustling town outside. It didn’t sound like it was coming from outside. It sounded like it was…coming from above him?

_Scratch. Scrape._

He shakes his head until it fades and walks out onto the porch with a cup of coffee. Coffee was never something he thought he’d have again. Some of the folks that walked by waved at him and he nodded his head, pressing his lips together.

_Where was Ellie?_

He couldn’t remember if she…

_Scratch. Scrape._

It was louder this time and it wasn’t something he could ignore. He steps back inside the house and the warmth he felt had evaporated. He felt chilled and the air was moist. The scratching was above him. He climbs the stairs and the railing was rotted. The wood had splintered.

“ELLIE!”

At the top of the stairs, he stands in the doorway to Ellie’s bedroom. She wasn’t there, it looked like she hadn’t been there for quite some time. Everything was covered in a thick coating of dust.

“Happy birthday!” He hears from behind him. It startles him and he turns to see Sarah standing in the hallway, wearing the same Pajama’s the day that she…

“I forgot to give you this.” She adds and holds out a card with a drawing of a dinosaur on it.

“Sarah…” he breathes and it feels like his chest was going to cave in.

The scratching noise was unbearable, it felt like something was rooting around inside his skull. He closes his eyes tight, trying to quell it. The air feels like it had been sucked out of the room and when he opens his eyes it’s pitch dark. He can’t see a thing.

He tries to reach out in front of him and his hand immediately hits something hard like wood. The air tasted stale and sweat ran down the side of his face. He felt beside him, behind him and above him. He was in a box, a box in the dark.

There was that scratching sound, like a shovel in dirt. Was he being buried?

He yells in the pure silence and he kicks but it doesn't do any good. He thinks he tries for a while, he can’t get a sense of time here. Everything was perpetually dark and quiet. No one can hear him, he can hardly move.  It would be impossible for him to climb out of a coffin with pounds of dirt resting on top of him.

_So, this was it then?_

He kicks the side hard for good measure. He thinks of Ellie and of all the times where a goodbye wasn’t uttered and all the right words were never said. He imagines it would have always been this way. If it wasn’t this moment, then another. Always words left to say. He knew Ellie could take care of herself. She was more than capable. Sometimes Joel thinks that he slows her down but she won’t tell him that. It was just the way things were. He can imagine some distant future where Ellie finds a home again, someplace to call her own. She was a survivor, above all. She’d find a purpose that doesn’t involve killing.   


_“I would’ve wanted to be an astronaut.”_

_“That a fact?”_

_“Yeah. Can you imagine being up there all by yourself? Would’ve been cool.”_  


Joel closes his eyes and goes back in time. Back to those fleeting moments that were over too soon. When he’d open his eyes, he’d be back in Salt Lake City watching the giraffes with Ellie, as if he imagined this whole nightmare scenario and had yet to leave that spot.

He thinks that moment is what he’d choose to go out thinking about.  

The darkness disappears and he’s standing on that rooftop again with the giraffes far off in the foreground.  


_‘So…this everything you were hopin' for?_

_‘Its got its ups and downs, but…you can’t deny that view though.’_  


He was going to stay and just never reach for the door. Being here again, in this moment, he doesn't understand why he ever left it.

“I should have never taken you to the Fireflies,” Joel says to the memory of Ellie. Ellie keeps watching the giraffes, contemplative.

“Was it all for nothing?” She asks.

“No. You were happy for a while. That means somethin’”

She looks at him for a moment before moving her eyes back to the never-ending scene in front of them.

“My happiness doesn’t mean anything.” She says.

“You deserve to live your life like all the rest. You were just a kid.” Joel says to the scene.

“I’ll always wonder ya know…how different the world would have been if you just let me die.”

_Well, this wasn’t how he wanted the memory to go._

“I’m not Sarah.” Memory Ellie says.

Joel says nothing, he tries to concentrate on the giraffes but they were fading into the blurred scenery. Soon it would just be another silent city, another wasteland, another nightmare.

“Joel…”

Joel remains silent. He had to start this over again, somehow.

“Joel!”

This wasn’t the memory. This couldn’t be the last thing he thinks of.

“JOEL!”

His eyes snap open and it’s too bright. He can’t see. He rolls on his side and coughs up dirt into the grass beneath him.

“Hey, you with me?” Ellie’s voice says.

When his eyes finally adjust, he sees Ellie above him. Present Ellie. Her face was smudged with dirt and tear tracks. Her eyes were shining.

“I got you.” She whispers.

She had found him. Of course she did. It was the way of things and always will be. They were inextricably tethered from the start. That invisible line that connected them may be a bit frayed now, but it was their beginning and their end. 

“I think I’ve napped long enough.” Joel states and she huffs a laugh out of relief and puts her hand on his shoulder.  “Can you stand?” She asks and Joel attempts to nod.

Ellie holds her hand out to him to help him up.

When he finally is able to stand, he sees the mounds of dirt that were once people; so many who didn’t have an Ellie to save them.

He blinks at her, exhausted, aware, alive. Ellie’s eyes darken and they communicate without speaking a word.

She wanted to finish this place off and who was he to stop her?

 


	14. Penance

The first match was struck and it didn’t take long for the flames to engulf every corner of that dark overgrown house.

Root slinked in front of the burning property like something out of a dream and she looked at Ellie with an understanding that all ferals have. That something like this could only be answered in fire.

Ellie knew Joel was wary of Root but in time they’d recognize a likeness in one another. The roof started to collapse and yelling echoed from the forest beyond. They were ready, this was what they hoped for.

They crouched down in the grass and watched the seven lanterns sweep towards them. Root bares her teeth, as one of their makeshift traps goes off, snuffing out two of the lanterns. Now it was five against three.

Joel knelt down with his rifle tight against him and fires. Another lantern gone. Four to go. They were firing at them now and they took cover around the burning house. When the four finally reached the property, Root pounced on the nearest, teeth out, sending him back into the Earth. Ellie swung her machete at whoever was careless enough to peek around the corner. The second to last fired at Joel, missing. Joel fired back, smooth and calm, killing him instantly.

The last one collapsed onto the ground, his lantern forgotten, as the three of them approached him. The house burned in the background like a bonfire, reaching up to that starless sky.

“Please...” The man says and holds his hands up in surrender. He was absolutely terrified.

Joel points his shotgun at him. “You’re gonna tell us what we need to know.”

The man looked more than willing.

\--

Ellie stood in the rain with Root as they watched the last remnants of the fire burn out.  The house was nothing but crumbled ash and burnt wood. It was a scar on the Earth of what used to dwell here.

Joel approaches her, his clothes and hair wet from the drizzle. “A man named Malcolm knows where this leader they call The Wolf is.”

Ellie pets Root’s head gently. “Where is Malcolm then?”

“Halston, Utah. We need us a car.” Joel says and begins walking out towards the sunrise as if this was the ending to their story. It could be the ending to this journey. She could tell him she was done hunting down these men. She could ask him where he thinks home might be but she doesn’t. She owes it to Jackson, to Tommy, to Maria, to give them some kind of justice in a world that had none.

If she couldn’t save the world then this was her penance.

\--

They stood outside the cave, assessing the damage to the truck that had plowed into it. It still appeared drivable. Joel was able to back it out with some maneuvering and the cave collapsed in on itself.

The truck was junk and that was putting it lightly but it should get them to where they needed to go. Ellie sat in the middle with Root on her right and Joel on her left. It felt a bit like a road trip she always wanted to take or used to dream about.  _Dreams_. She hasn’t thought about them in a while. She rolled down the window for Root to stick her head out and if she closed her eyes, she can pretend that the road wasn’t cracked and overgrown. She could pretend there was something beautiful beyond the horizon that waited for them to arrive. The wind whipped inside, tussling her hair.

“You used to travel cross-country with Tommy?” She chances and there’s silence at first. She doesn’t even have to look at him to know he was pressing his lips into a thin line, thinking about what he should say.

“Yeah…yeah we did.” Is all Joel says.

She knew that he talked about it forever ago with Henry, the night before they lost both Henry and Sam. The smile that was forming on her face fades and she opens her eyes to the ruined road ahead of them.

Ellie reaches down to Joel’s bag and asks, “Have anything interesting in here to read?”

Joel says nothing and gives her no hint he was going to. She pulls out a comic. It wasn’t exactly what she expected to find. She flipped it over, glancing at the summary.

“I didn’t think you read comics.” She says.

“I was savin’ that for you. When you…wanted it.” He says and his grip tightens on the steering wheel.

Ellie puts it back into the bag and zips it up. She felt chilled. “I don’t read them anymore.”

“Well, it’s there when you want to,” Joel replies.

Root closes her eyes against the wind and rests a paw on Ellie’s leg.

\--

Ellie awoke sometime into the night and they were pulled over on the side of the road. The engine was off. Ellie sits up quick and notices Joel was still sitting in the driver’s seat. His hand resting against his mouth as he looked out into the darkness.

“What’s going on?” Ellie asks and stretches. Root huffs and quietly scoots over.

“We ran out of gas.” Joel comments and he seems preoccupied. He was concentrating on the darkness beyond the windows.

“Okay? So, we walk.” Ellie says.

Joel points out to the dark field beside them, “I saw a light earlier, I was thinkin’ of checkin’ it out, while you wait here.”

“Why do you even bother attempting this shit with me? If you’re going, I’m going. Remember what happened the last time you wanted to go on your own? You were buried alive.” Ellie supplies.

Joel sighs, “Well, get your stuff then.”

Ellie and Root follow Joel out of the car. Root's ears perk up and she hunches down as if she senses something she doesn’t like. Joel notices this and says, “Stay close.”

They enter the field of tall grass with trees framing the background, that gave way to more dark woods. They sneak through the field in their practiced rhythm and reach where the tall grass reveals a small property. The house was dark but it was the side yard that drew their attention.

 _Hunters._ A lot of them.

They were gathered in a group, organizing clothes and shoes. In the center of this circle was a man that they were tormenting, who wailed at the hunters who circled him.

“What do we do?” Ellie whispers.

“There ain’t nothin’ we can do,” Joel replies and they crouch there for a moment, taking in the disturbing scene.

Ellie would imagine sometime after this, that she could have slaughtered the hunters and saved the man like some kind of hero but that wasn’t how things worked. There were too many hunters and only three of them.

There was nothing they could do.

\--

They walked through the fields beside the dark road, which led them forward into the unknown. They camped out far enough away and ate berries they had saved. She was so hungry. Her stomach growled and she laid down, facing away from the fire.

She heard that man’s wails when she shut her eyes. Her dreams weren’t much better.

She thinks she dreams of crawling in the mud. The rain coming down so hard she could hardly see. She thinks Riley was there too, as she sometimes was. She was going to drown and no one wanted to help her.  


_This is what she deserves._  


She’s sorry every day she failed them. She is sorry most of all, that she can’t hate the man that took that fate away. She would tear herself open to the sky before she could hate him.

Joel killed them all and carried her home. One life for millions. Ellie knows he’d make that choice again, in a thousand different lives. It was the way of things. There would always be a man, desperate enough to leave the world to die and a girl condemned to love him.


	15. August

The wind had a bone-deep chill to it, that was only felt at the first sign of winter. Joel knew Ellie hated winter and it wasn’t because of the cold either. Bad memories will taint a thing forever.

It’s in a gas station, in a small town, that Joel sees the corpse of a Firefly. They were wearing the Firefly symbol patch on their arm and they hadn’t been dead for that long. They had taken their own life because they had been bitten. Joel could see the rotted teeth marks stretch the skin where the shoulder meets the neck.

He didn’t want Ellie to see this. The scene was nothing new but he didn’t want her to go off looking for the Fireflies again. Who knows, maybe this guy was the only one.

The door creaks open and Joel turns, obstructing the view of the dead Firefly from Ellie, who appears too preoccupied to care.

“Joel! I saw Fireflies! They were headed to the library down the street.”

_Shit._

“Is that so? Are you sure? The Firefly patches don’t mean much no more.”

He knew he was reaching and he knows she notices.  She steps back out into the chill, the door squeaking shut and he follows after her. Root is right on Ellie’s heels as predicted and they are already heading in the direction of the library.

“Ellie…” Joel calls but she keeps on walking.

“Ellie!”

She doesn’t stop nor does she respond. She was dead-set on getting to that library. 

“Goddammit.”

He jogs to catch up with her and grabs her arm. “Slow down, we don’t know a thing about who they are or why they’re here.”

Ellie rips her arm away from him and they stand there silent staring at one another.  Ellie seemed surprised with herself, that she reacted that way.

“You just took off. I just want you to be smart about this, Ellie.” Joel says, sincerely.

She nods once, crossing her arms. “I know what you’re worried about. I’m not going to run off with them if that’s what you think.”

Joel doesn’t say a word, he just watches Root cross onto the sidewalk.

Ellie continues, “I do want to talk to them though. As long as you promise not to do anything.”

Joel shakes his head, “You think I’m gonna kill em’?”  

Ellie shrugs, “I don’t know, Joel.”

Joel clenches his jaw and looks to the sky but he wasn’t really looking at anything. He just needed to not look at her, with the way she was looking at him like he was some kind of animal.

“You shouldn’t go in through the front.” He says, training his voice to remain neutral.  He chances a glance at her and her eyes had softened. She really could read him like a book.

Root walks up beside him. The closest she’s been to Joel and he sets his hand on the soft fur of her back. They walk to the back of the two-story library and climb the stairs to the roof, quietly. Once there, it was easy to slip inside and down a concrete staircase. Inside, they peer down at the ruined bookshelves that had toppled over. Soggy books littered the floor; open and torn to pieces. There was a hole in the ceiling and the light shone down from it, as the dust danced. There really wasn’t much left to read. They were on the second floor of the library and down below were the Fireflies. They were sitting amongst the books and eating, passing water around. They seemed harmless enough.

Ellie and Joel hid behind a pillar and listened. There were four of them, one woman and three men. They were talking about the weather as if polite conversation was still a thing. Joel points to the door towards the stairs leading down to the first floor and Ellie shakes her head, disagreeing.

She steps out from behind the pillar before Joel could pull her back and he gets his pistol ready. Ellie stands by the broken balcony and holds her hands up in surrender.  The Fireflies notice this and all stand abruptly, guns in hands.

“I don’t mean you any harm.” Ellie states.

“What’s your business?” A man asks. He looked to be in his thirties, with light brown hair and a friendly face but that didn’t mean anything to Joel.  

“I didn’t think you guys still existed. I knew Marlene.” Ellie replies.

Surprisingly, that was all it took to get them to lower their weapons. Ellie motions for Root to follow her down the stairs and Joel took his time, hanging back. He didn’t trust them.

Down on the first floor, he watched Ellie greet them. “I’m Riley.” Ellie lies. The man smiled until he saw Joel. Joel seemed to have that effect on people.

“Who is this?” He asks and his expression was guarded.

Ellie smiles back, practiced, “This is Jim.” She points to Joel.

“Good to meet you, I’m August.” The young man says.

Joel nods, glad he didn’t offer his hand for a handshake. He seems to pick up on Joel's chilly demeanor and turns back to Ellie.

\--

August was friendly, in a sort of cautious way. The other three in the group, Chuck, Eddie and Liv, all seem friendly enough as well. No one seemed agitated with their presence. They even passed around food and started a fire, using old ruined books to kindle the flames.  Joel patted Root on the back and fed her a scrap, which she ate gratefully; folding her ears back in contentment. He found it easier to concentrate on Root and not look at the others.

“How did you know Marlene?” August asks and Ellie swallowed her bite of meat.

“My mom knew her,” Ellie replies truthfully. Joel was a bit wary about giving out too much information. He’s not exactly sure how much they knew.

“Oh, so since you were little?” August asked, wide-eyed.

“Yeah, I mean, she was around when I went to military boarding school.”

Joel wondered if Ellie was being so chatty to spite him.

August nodded and glanced at Joel, for which Joel said nothing and moved his eyes to the fire, crackling between them all.

Liv, who had short dark hair, dark eyes and an unreadable expression says, “Terrible what happened. We weren’t there but we heard. Some psychopath wiped out the lab.”

“Yeah…” Ellie says and she tries to keep her face stoic. “What are you guys doing out here?” She changes the subject.

“Just scavenging for supplies. It’s been a tough road.” August says.

That was a lie if Joel ever heard one. They weren’t out scavenging. This was organized, a mission. He catches the one called Chuck, eyeing him and Chuck smiles at Joel of all things.

Something was _wrong_.

“You’re welcome to stay the night if you want,” August says and looks between the two of them, politely.

“Sure!” Ellie answers with a smile that looks a little crooked.

When August stands to talk with the others, Joel scoots closer to Ellie, who appeared distant. Root was asleep behind them, part of her resting against Ellie.

“I don’t like this. I don’t—“ Joel begins but then Ellie stands from where she was seated, walking away towards the corner of the room. Root gets up and follows her. The four Fireflies stare at Joel with equal awkward smiles. Joel stands slowly and walks over to the corner where Ellie was setting up a sleeping area. She scratches Root behind her ears and moves her backpack to act as a pillow as they often did. All the while, ignoring Joel’s presence.

“Ellie…” Joel whispers.

She doesn’t turn to look at him. “Get some sleep.” She says, trying to shut down any conversation.

“I don’t trust them,” Joel says.

“I don’t want to hear it. Goodnight.” Ellie says sternly and lays down facing the wall.

“Goodnight,” Joel says and sighs.  He sits down against the wall next to his bag. No way in hell was he sleeping.

After a few minutes of sitting in the silence and listening to the others get comfortable, August walks over to him.

“Hey, Jim.” He says and Joel almost forgot that was supposed to be his name. “Mind if we talk?”

“Talk all you want.” Joel supplies and August takes it as an invitation to sit on the floor across from him. August looked like he could manipulate others with that personable mug of his. He looks like he could talk is way into people’s lives, people’s trust. Joel recognized people like him, there was always something lurking beneath that smile of theirs.

“You look familiar…” August says, pointing, casually. “I used to run with this guy named Tommy. You look similar. I haven’t heard from him in years though.”

Tommy was always the idealist, had to get himself tangled up with Marlene and her Fireflies.

“I don’t know him,” Joel says and August eyes him. Joel doesn’t think he believes him. It was true though, he didn’t have a brother, not anymore. The thought stings, unexpectedly and he blinks, looking towards Ellie.

“How did you meet?” August asks, following his eyeline.

“That don’t matter,” Joel answers and leans back against the pillar behind him.

August huffs a small laugh, “You aren’t much of a conversationalist, are you?”

Joel looks him straight in the eye. “You ain’t scavengin’, are you?”

August’s expression doesn’t change much, his eyes don’t waver from Joel’s. “I know it can be hard to trust others but I’m afraid that’s all we are doing. We need more food and medicine.”

August was a good liar. Joel smirks a little, nodding.

“Not everyone is out to get you and yours, Jim,” August says.

“Well, then you’ve been livin’ under a rock because this whole world is out to do just that.”

August looks disheartened of all things and Joel wanted to be done with this conversation.

“Where are you headed?” August asks.

“That don’t matter,” Joel answers again and August nods, accepting the reluctance.

“We are going to head back to our base soon and you are more than welcome to come along.”

Ellie turns from her sleeping position, facing them. Joel should have known she wasn’t sleeping.

“Where is your base?” Ellie asks and August’s eyes brighten when he smiles at Ellie.

“Some of us went back to salvage what we could from the lab in Salt Lake but after a while, we branched out near Grover.”

Ellie moves her hands beneath her face and Root yawns beside her.

“Are there a lot of you?” She asks and Joel looks over at the other three Fireflies who were already asleep.

“More people join us every day, we are growing. Marlene always had a backup plan and Grover was it.” August seems wistful. He was a genuine optimist. A liar and an optimist.

“That’s good to hear,” Ellie replies.

 “Well, Jim…Riley. Why don’t you try to get some rest?” August adds, nodding at them. Joel watches him get up from the floor and slowly walk over to his own bedroll, by the dying fire.  

“He knew Tommy,” Ellie says quietly.

_So, she did hear that._

“Don’t matter. Get some sleep.” Joel replies and he opens his bag to keep his hands busy.

Ellie mocks, “ _Don’t matter_.” In the voice she thinks sounds like him and continues, “Of course it fucking does. They don’t seem like bad people to me.”

Joel was tempted to say ‘don’t matter’ again despite her mockery but he just sits there silent.

She sits up then, and looks contemplative, “Listen…I know we have this mission we are on and we are going to finish it. I just had never thought about after.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joel asks, irritated by what she was implying. These Fireflies weren’t their future. They weren’t _hers._

“This didn’t seem like something we could win but…” She stops and rests her hand on Root, who looks between them as if she was understanding everything they were saying. “….maybe we can wipe out those fuckers.”

Joel was about to tell her to get some rest yet again when the sound of muffled screeches snap his attention away. He looks to the Fireflies and notices August stand from his bedroll.

“Clickers. A lot of them.” Ellie says.

Joel had that old familiar feeling. The feeling before lightning strikes, as if he was suspended in motion. Ellie was right. It sounded as though dozens were headed this way as if someone had baited them here on purpose.

Something slams against the barred door and it isn’t long before it begins to bend.


	16. Cause and Effect

Joel knew he was but a collection of moments stitched together over time. The father he was, ceased to exist and so a new version of himself was stitched over the old one. Bits and pieces were forgotten along the way, like the feeling of the true kind of peace one has in complacency.

Now, pressing his back against a shaking door, he remembers things he never wanted to.  
  
_He remembers Henry’s last words before he turned the gun on himself._

 _‘It’s all your fault’_  
  
The door was breaking apart, they couldn’t hold it any longer. Joel, Ellie, Root and the Fireflies readied themselves, backing away from the door with their weapons drawn.  
  
_He remembers Ellie hacking apart David in the burning restaurant and holding her as a part of her faded forever. He wanted to find it and give it back to her but it had already evaporated before he got there._  
  
The infected burst inside with their loud aimless screaming and Joel dispatches the first one with his bat. The second, Root snatches with her jaws, pulling it down to be silenced. This was what they knew. They could handle this.  
  
_He remembers pulling Ellie from the water in Salt Lake City and somehow knowing that things were ending. Something was closing, as he gave her CPR. She wasn’t breathing and it felt like the pages of this story of theirs had all been torn loose and scattered._

There were too many of them. Three of them were now on Chuck and there was nothing they could do. Joel was running low on bullets. Eddie was the next to go. They were backed up against a staircase that was barely holding together.

_He remembers carrying Ellie through the hallways of the Firefly lab, the flashlight beams of the guns pointing forward like sentinels, searching in the dark for the girl and the monster that had taken her._

_‘You’d just come after her’_

August helped them climb up, Ellie being first, then Liv, then Joel.  Joel was able to maneuver around the horde and up part of a bookshelf to the cracked staircase.

They run along a walkway that was crumbling and Root barks as part of it tumbles. They were trapped here, with the horde of infected below, like sharks. Ellie leaned against Root who sat and panted beside her. Liv sat on her knees as tears wet her cheeks. She slowly held her arm out to them. There were at least two bites.

_He remembers lying to Ellie before they reached Jackson. She stood there overlooking their future and asked him with such sincerity. ‘Swear to me’_

_And he lied._

_He pretended she believed him._

There’s a hush that falls over them, with the exception of the infected below. August was telling Liv that they were going to be fine. Denial was all well and good, but not when it comes to this. Not when _Ellie’s_ life was in danger.

Ellie’s looking at Joel, communicating to him without saying a word. Liv knew what August didn’t want to believe. She was begging him to be the one to do it because she couldn’t do it herself. August kept shaking his head and saying, _“We’ll get out of here.”_

It was a few minutes after that, that Liv approached Joel and pleaded with him to do it for her. August, of course, was not having it. “No one is shooting anyone!”

“I’ll do it…” Joel replies.

_He remembers losing her as she walked from him into the forest beyond Jackson. He remembers getting his flashlight and searching the trees. He’d search forever if he could. The forest had swallowed her up and she never wanted to be found, especially not by him. Not by the liar._

Root had finally settled enough to lie down and Ellie sat next to August, who was staring at the dirty floor like it held all the truths.  

Liv was standing in front of Joel with calm acceptance like Tess had. The comparison forced him to look away, down to the infected. Except now instead of leaving Tess behind he was going to have to shoot her.

“Thank you,” Liv says shakily, as a tear falls from her chin.

Joel held the pistol up and she closes her eyes. Tess was there instead, his memory had no problem providing her for him. 

_‘You were going to have to face me some time, Texas.’_

His resolve was crumbling and he tried to banish her image. The longer he took the worse it would be for Liv. He knew this and yet his finger still rested on the trigger, unable to put the pressure where it was needed.

He was a murderer. A monster. A survivor. This was routine.

A gunshot rings out, startling him from his thoughts and Liv falls limply to the ground. Joel expected to see August standing there with his pistol, but instead it was Ellie. She stood there, her gun held up with an unreadable expression.

_He remembers the weeks crawled by, stealing away the warmth of what he thought they could be. Jackson didn’t hold any light when Ellie had gone, it was as dark as the forest to him. She wasn’t coming back. This was the way it was always going to end. When he finally concluded this fate, that’s when the screams began and like many things, the community of Jackson died, while he survived._

August was sitting against the wall. His hands on his knees and he was pale as the snow, haunted.  Joel knew that look.  He just watched his friends die.

“We need to find a way off this platform,” Joel says.

“Give him a minute,” Ellie says.

“We ain’t got that kind of time. We sat here long enough. Once we’re out then he can grieve.”

“Give me a minute then,” Ellie says sternly. She was glaring at him.

“Someone lured the infected to us and someone is gonna come in lookin’ to clean up. We need to be gone.” Joel says.

Ellie doesn’t answer him. Joel sighs and shakes his head at her before standing and peering over the edge of the platform.

He heard her asking August questions that he didn’t respond to. “Get him to stand up or we’ll have to leave him,” Joel says and Ellie looks down at her shoes, which were worn with age.  

Gunshots ripped through the walls downstairs, breaking the windows. Joel immediately crouched, huddled over by where Root and Ellie were.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Ellie yells over the gunfire. August still sat silently against the wall without a word, as if he didn’t hear a thing.

“Just stay down.” Joel grunts and watches as the bullets pour through, killing the clickers and runners below. After a moment, the front door bursts open. Men entered the abandoned library with automatic weapons. They were unable to see the four of them up on the platform because the wall obstructed them from view.

“Whew. We should do that more often. Now that’s how you clear a fucking building.” One of the men calls, proud of himself.

“Hunters,” Joel whispers.

Ellie moves in front of August and puts her hands on his knees but he doesn’t look at her. She whispers, “Hey, you need to listen to me. We have to go and we don’t want to leave you here.”

Joel knew they had wasted too much time already. Root sniffs at a small part of the wall that was crumbling from her digging. There was another room beyond the hole.

Joel knelt down beside Root and began slowly and quietly removing chunks of plaster. This had to be a way out.

“We may have to leave him.” Joel reminds her.

“I’m tired of leaving people behind,” Ellie says.

Joel shoved a chunk of the wall aside revealing a larger hole. Root was able to fit inside and she was already waiting in the next room.

“If we stay here, then we die. That ain’t gonna happen.” Joel says and holds his hand out to her. He needed her in that room, where the Hunters couldn’t see.

Ellie turns back to August and mirrors Joel, holding her hand out to him. “Please…you don’t have to die here.”

Joel didn’t think August would take it but after a moment, August rests his hand in hers. He still didn’t seem aware of what was happening and he didn’t say a word. Ellie guided him to the hole, where Joel waited.

“You go in first,” Joel says.

Ellie shakes her head, stubbornly and helps August crawl inside. After his shoes disappear beyond the plaster, they hear, “Someone’s up there!”

“Fuck..” Ellie exclaims and Joel practically shoves her inside the wall.

They were firing at the platform now, wasting bullets like there was no tomorrow and Joel catches one in his thigh as he crawls through. He could already feel the blood pooling in his jeans by the time he makes it into the room. He cringes, setting his hand to the wound and forces some falling plaster onto the hole.

“Oh shit, Joel…you’re hit!” Ellie yells.

“It’s fine…we need to get out of this buildin’.” Joel states and turns, examining the very small storage room. Old books were piled in corners and shelves had caved in. There was a broken desk sitting lopsided against the wall. Most of the windows were boarded up.  The pain was secondary, he had to put it aside.

“You’re bleeding all over the floor,” Ellie observes.

He says nothing and limps over to one of the half boarded up windows.  He pulls on the loose rotted wood. It breaks apart, brightening the small room with dingy light.

“Hand me my bat over there,” Joel says and points.

“We need to look at your leg.” 

“Ellie…c’mon.” Joel motions for her to hurry.

Ellie grabs the bat beside his bag and Root snarls towards the plastered hole. There’s a gunshot that’s loud in the small room, startling them both.

August was standing up in the corner, his pistol pointed down at the corpse of the hunter trying to sneak through the hole. He says nothing to Joel or Ellie.  He just stands there, staring down at the blood pooling on the floor below.

Joel grabbed the bat from Ellie and smashed it into the window, knocking the shards off. 

“August?” Ellie tries and Joel limps over to his bag, grabbing it from the floor.

August nods at her, his face still ghostly pale.

“Ellie.. you’re up,” Joel says, leaning against the wall by the window.

There was yelling coming from just outside the hole. The plaster sure as hell wasn’t going to prevent bullets if they felt inclined to fire inside. Ellie hops up through the window and Root follows gracefully after her.

August climbed through next and waited to help Joel on the other side.

Ellie and Root took the lead as Joel limped in the back. They descended from the collapsed roof, out into the back-end of town.

Dark clouds loomed ahead and lightning cracked apart the horizon. The chill in the air gathered in his chest and stayed trapped in his rib cage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't mind the small inclusions of OCs and are still enjoying the story! Looking forward to finishing it in the future! Thank you for reading :)


	17. A Father

There was a battle in the sky among the clouds and a loud rumbling as they clash. Ellie pours alcohol over the bullet wound and receives a pained grunt.

“You’re not holding still.” She says.

“I am.”

“You are not.”

She doesn’t bother with a warning. She just digs in, searching for the bullet.  He yells and grits his teeth. Root was observing them with the tilt of her head and August was sitting in an old chair by the window. He hasn’t spoken a word since Liv.  

“Jesus…” Joel says and Ellie grabs his leg to hold him still.

“I almost have it!”

“Let’s hope I don’t ever need surgery.” Joel supplies and Ellie feels a smile threatening her lips.

“I think you’re forgetting who sewed you up that one winter,” Ellie adds.

Joel huffs and she finally finds the bullet, to Joel’s relief.

Ellie tore a piece of cloth with her teeth and helped him wrap it around his thigh. She pats him on the knee and says, “Good as new.”

“Thanks, doc.” He says and he was actually smirking this time which gave her some pause. It was fleeting as all smiles were but even when she stepped back, patting Root on the head, she felt a little bit lighter. She held onto the feeling a little longer, just standing and breathing. She anchored herself to that spot and the thunder rumbled.

\--

The next morning when Ellie wakes, August was still sitting in that chair, staring out the window. It was as if he was paused and required someone to resume him. Ellie stands up, tying her hair back loosely and sits in the small chair in front of him. His eyes find hers but he says nothing.

“I’m sorry about, Liv and your friends,” Ellie says.

_I’m sorry for shooting her but I had to._

“I saw the bite on your arm, beneath the tattoo.”

She was caught off guard by the comment, so much so she almost falls backward in the chair.

“It’s…just an old scar,” Ellie says and August shakes his head.

“You’re immune. I heard Joel, who is not Jim, call you Ellie. Is that your name?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ellie lies but she knows it’s pointless.

“It’s him, isn’t it? He’s the one who killed Marlene and the others.” August asks but his voice doesn’t raise and he doesn’t appear to be angry. There’s a slump to his shoulders, his eyes were glassy; a haunted defeat.

She glances towards the back of the room to see both Joel and Root asleep, next to one another. It looked like he had fallen asleep counting their current food supplies.

“Are you going to head back to Grover, your base?” Ellie asks, avoiding the question.

“He did it for you, didn’t he?” August asks and she’s surprised at how he appears to sympathize with Joel of all things.

She says nothing. She didn’t know how to talk about this, especially with a Firefly.

“You should come with me. It’s where Marlene would have wanted you to be.” August says and he sounds exhausted as if he doesn’t quite believe it himself.

_Dead. Marlene wanted her dead._

“No. I’m good here. I have some unfinished business to tend to.” Ellie replies.

“If you change your mind, there'll always be a place for you in Grover.”

_But not Joel._

She surmises.

August forces himself to stand and swallows quietly. He looked utterly lost. He wasn’t a bad person. In fact, he was one of the nicest people she’s encountered on the road in a while.

“You’re leaving now?” Ellie asks and he nods once, grabbing his pistol and bag from the ground. A part of her entertains an idea that would never come to fruition. She wondered if sacrificing herself would still be worth it. Would there be anyone left to save?

“Safe journey, August,” Ellie says.

He looks at her again with those sad eyes and replies, “When you’re lost in the darkness…”

Ellie finishes, “…look for the light.”

_A Fireflies way._

She watches him quietly leave and wonders how different the world would have been if she had died those five years ago. Would it have made a difference?

She thinks of those years in Jackson not existing. She clears her throat and sighs. 

\--

_Malcolm._

Malcolm wasn’t a hard man to find. They didn’t really know what to expect. He was supposed to tell them where The Wolf was, according to one of The Pact they killed. Ellie was pretty sure the guy was telling the truth. She remembered him screaming the name into the air _“MALCOLM!”_ As the house burned in the background.

Where he was located was fairly secluded. It was outside Halston, a small abandoned town. In between two trees was an overgrown path that led to his property. A very small house that looked a lot cozier than Daniel’s house. He had traps planted in the front yard and there was a fence circling the property. He wasn’t inviting people into his home but the house didn’t look like it wanted to eat them. Root sniffed ahead of them through the dead leaves to the back of the house. There was a small rusted hole in the fence and Joel used a pair of pliers he found to make it bigger.

He goes through first, being cautious of traps on the other side.

The air was crisp and the ground crunched beneath their feet. It would snow soon. She could feel it in the air; the heavy chill, waiting to fall.

Joel crouched down at the side of the porch and gripped his shotgun. Root stood ready, her ears up.

“Wait here...” Joel begins. Ellie shakes her head and interjects, “No. Not going to happen.”

“Let me finish..” Joel glares at her. “Wait here…for a minute while I check out the porch.”

“You don’t have to worry about the porch.” Comes a gruff voice and they both turn startled to see an old man with a long white beard. He was staring down at them from his porch. He had an old shotgun in his hands, pointed at them and wore a long thick dark coat. Root growls from beside Ellie and the old man eyes each of them. 

“Are you Malcolm?” Ellie asks and he walks closer. His boots scraping against the wood.

“Who might you be?” He asks her and points the gun towards Ellie. Joel visibly tenses. The old man notices this and smirks.  He moves the shotgun away, so it wasn’t pointing at them anymore.

“Well…?” He prods.

“Ellie, this is Joel and this is Root,” Ellie says and points. Root mirrored Joel. They were both almost snarling.

“I’m Malcolm. You’ve come here to kill me?” He asks.

“That depends,” Joel says.

Malcolm chuckles “You should come out of the cold, I have a fire going.”

He walks away from them and back into his house. Joel looks to Ellie with suspicion, “Stay behind me.”

They make their way onto the porch slowly and Joel keeps his shotgun up, Root stays on Ellie’s heels. Joel stands in the entryway to his house and Malcolm waves them in.

“Where is The Wolf?” Joel asks, looking around the inside of the house like it could devour him.

“I have food, fire and I desire conversation. If I am going to give you something, then you should give me something in return.” Malcolm calls from down the hallway.

It looks cozy to Ellie, like a dream but Ellie knew dreams weren't real. There’s always something underneath.

“It’s fucking cold.” Ellie reminds Joel and he shakes his head. Root even whines.

“I’m not goin’ in there,” Joel says and Ellie sighs.

“Fine, but I am.” She pushes past him and he grabs her arm with an irritated, “Ellie.”

“Look, this guy could have killed us and no I don’t trust him but we don’t have a choice,” Ellie says as she walks inside the small front room. There were fresh flowers in a vase against the window and the furniture didn’t look so bad. It was mismatched but care was put into this place. There were pictures on the walls of faraway places that Ellie had never seen before. There was one of the Gobi Desert and another of a mountaintop in Tibet.

They walk down the very short hallway into the kitchen, which was tacky but well preserved. Everything was cleaned and dusted. This looked like a real home, lived in. There were even knickknacks across the shelves and old books that had been read, with hardly any dust. Malcolm sat at the dining room table, which was large, wooden and with several empty chairs.

“Do you like coffee?” He asks and Ellie’s eyes widen as she looks to Joel.  His cold demeanor doesn’t melt of course.

“We just want to know about The Wolf,” Joel says, plainly.

Malcolm nods, “I understand. Do you like coffee?”

“I don’t want _coffee_ ,” Joel says, irritated.

“What about you, Ellie?” Malcolm asks, politely.

“I’m fine.” Ellie shakes her head and he motions for them to sit. Neither of them complies and Root stands cautiously beside them both. Malcolm eyes them with slight amusement and gets up to make his own coffee.

There was something old world about Malcolm. As if he didn’t quite fit here. They were all like puzzle pieces that have come loose, warped.

“Tell me what happened?” Malcolm ventures.

“There ain’t a reason to. We came here for one thing.” Joel replies, gripping the shotgun tighter in his arms.

“The Wolf and his Pack destroyed our community,” Ellie speaks up and Joel turns back to glare at her.

“To lord over others,” Malcolm says and pours the freshly boiled coffee into a chipped cup.  It smells wonderful.

“Nothin’ new.” Joel comments.

He walks past them to sit down in a wooden dining chair and nods before taking a sip. They wait in uncomfortable silence for him to continue. When he doesn’t, Joel has no problem prompting him.

“You were part of this Pack?”

“Yes,” Malcolm says and moves the coat away from his neck to reveal a large scar across his throat. It resembled the one Lila had. Ellie remembered it as clear as day.

“How are you still breathin’, assumin’ you got out?” Joel asks and Malcolm sips his coffee slowly. Ellie figured the old man was doing it on purpose. Root sniffs the kitchen cupboards, cautiously and doesn’t wander far.

“Please, sit.” Malcolm offers again.

“How are you alive?” Joel pushes.

“You are a difficult man. Stubborn.” Malcolm says but there’s a warmth in his words.

Joel pulls out a chair and it scratches against the floor. He slowly sits down in it, keeping his shotgun in his hands.  Ellie follows and sits down across from Malcolm. Root takes her place beside Ellie, not letting her guard down just yet.

“How the hell do we even know you ain’t who we are lookin’ for?” Joel questions.

“You don’t but that’s what makes this interesting,” Malcolm says and continues to sip his coffee.

“Not the word I’d use. Where can we find The Wolf?” Joel asks, schooling his bubbling rage as best as he can.

Ellie looked between them. The tension growing in the room came from Joel.  Root huffs and Ellie scratches her ears. Malcolm leans back, his cup empty now. There’s a draft coming in from an open window somewhere and Ellie shivers.

Malcolm says, calmly, “It’s my son you are looking for. I believe you already met my youngest, Daniel.”

All the air leaves Ellie’s lungs and she sits there in that small warm kitchen like a statue. Malcolm didn’t say it as a threat. He appeared comfortable, at ease, calm.

He continues, “He’s dead, I would guess by your reaction.”

He was staring at Ellie and Joel glances her way. The deep blue of Malcolm’s eyes wasn’t a sea of nothingness like Daniel’s was. There was a spark of something there but she didn’t know what that _something_ actually was. 

Joel begins, “Daniel—“ but Malcolm holds up his hand to interrupt him, “I have my answer. You are here for my eldest.”

Ellie was unnerved by how calm Malcolm was, sitting comfortably with his son’s killer in his cozy home. Not only had Ellie killed Daniel but she had tortured him. Did he know that too? Her heart was racing.

Ellie speaks up this time, “You’ll help us find your eldest son?”

Malcolm’s expression fades to something that resembled a devastated acceptance. The calmness was an old grief. “I could never do it myself.”

Joel didn’t look convinced, “You want us to kill your son?”

“Yes.”

The answer is loud in the quiet room and the wind picks up to a howl outside.


	18. The Cave

Ellie likes to think she’s done good things in her life and that at one point she was a good person. She likes to think those things weren’t selfish. She doesn’t want each gunshot, each kill to get easier but it is. She doesn’t want to see Lila’s smiling face when she looks in the mirror.

_‘I’m what you got to look forward to’_

She didn’t want to pretend that Daniel was far removed from who she was, when in fact they could have passed each other in the halls of some college, each living their lives, entirely unaware of _this_. This nightmare. She didn’t want to feel calm after she killed Liv, even if Liv wanted her to. She wanted to shake and cry like she used to. She wanted to feel torn open like she used to. Now there was that vast pit of listlessness.

The daylight was fast fading into night. The sunlight was peeking one last time in the kitchen they were sitting in. It cast a strip of light across Joel’s shoulders. She felt nothing but dread. The building of it and the eventual fruition.

“Where do we find him?” Joel asks.

“You’ll find him in a lodge near Grover.” Malcolm answers.

Ellie stares at him in puzzlement.  “Near Grover?”

“Yes?” Malcolm leans forward, his beard brushing the dining room table.

“I was told that was where the Fireflies were stationed,” Ellie states, a bit wary of telling Malcolm that, but he squints at her.

“Fireflies are dead or scattered. They don’t exist anymore.” Malcolm says.

Ellie shakes her head and points to Joel, “We met a group of Fireflies headed to Grover. It seemed they were organized.”

Malcolm tilts his head at her and then his eyes darken. “Is that so?” There was a creeping silence and her heart was pounding so loudly.

“What the hell is goin’ on?” Joel asks, and looks between Malcolm and Ellie. Root whines beside her, restless and uneasy.

Ellie studies Malcolm’s blue eyes and is struck again by that same feeling from earlier. Familiarity. She had seen eyes like those before. She had seen…

_Oh god._

Ellie stands from the table, quickly. She was unable to feel the warmth from the fire.

“Ellie…”

She hears Joel calling her. He touches her arm where her scar was and she flinches. She doesn’t mean too. She sees the hidden hurt buried deep in Joel’s expression. 

“The Wolf...your eldest son, what's his name?” Ellie asks.

She knows it before it leaves his lips.

“August.”

Joel stands up from the table then, the screeching of his chair splits through her ears.

She can hear Joel cursing and speaking to Malcolm but she blocks it out like white noise. August had a kind face, an easy smile. The youthful look of a man that still found reasons to hope. August was so devastated. He was in shock. He was grieving Liv, like a normal person would. He cared. He was kind. He wasn’t…he didn’t burn people alive. He didn’t murder people she loved.

“August. We helped him survive. The Fireflies…he’s with the fucking Fireflies.” Ellie states.

Malcolm sighs as if this wasn’t anything new. “There are no Fireflies, my dear. August manipulated you both.”

She had worried about August after he left. She spent nights on the way here wondering if he had made it. He was supposed to be an idealist. He was supposed to be hope, surviving. Not something worse than what she’s already seen. He was that house; Daniel’s house come to life. That was who August was inside.

\--

Ellie sat on the sofa in Malcolm’s living room staring at her shoes, which were falling apart.

“August.” She says and Joel looks up at her.

“I knew he was a liar.” He replies.

“He wanted me to come with him, can you imagine if I did?”

Joel tenses at that and he sits down in the stiff torn chair across from her.

“Well…you didn’t.” He says and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I didn’t want to, ya know?” Ellie says softly and Joel glances at her.

“It’s okay, Ellie.” He says and leans back, resting his hands on his legs.

“I didn’t…”

“Okay then.” Joel blinks at her and then looks away. He has never been any good at this. She almost felt like smiling, if the situation at hand wasn’t so dire.

“You trust him?” Joel asks quietly and moves his head in the direction of the kitchen.

“We don’t have a choice,” Ellie says.

The room fell silent. There would be no moon to be their guide through the night.

Malcolm appears in the doorway, he was ghostly pale, spooked. “You both need to leave.”

“What’s goin’ on?” Joel asks, standing.

Ellie spots lanterns approaching the house in the dark. At least ten.

“They’re here?” Ellie asks.

“A group of them, yes,” Malcolm says and kicks the rug off the floor to reveal a hatch with a combination lock. He quickly inputs the combination and forces the door open, sending dust shooting outwards.

“In you go.” He says.

They both stare at him for a moment as if he's lost his mind. 

“What’s down there?” Ellie asks.

“It will lead us into the forest.” Malcolm answers and the lanterns grow closer.

“She ain’t goin’ in first,” Joel says and immediately takes the ladder down into the darkness.

Ellie watches his flashlight blink on and he jumps down onto a damp rocky floor. He stands there a moment, assessing his surroundings and then he motions for her to follow.

She grabbed a hold of Root, guiding her to the darkness and Root understood, jumping forward, almost landing on Joel. She hears him curse as a result. 

Once at the bottom Ellie shined her flashlight along the rock walls. There was a constant dripping sound far off and it was very much like a tunnel to a cave.

“This way,” Malcolm says and grabs a lantern from the wall that looked to have been there for decades. The metal squeaks and he knocks the spiderwebs off of it.

“August wasn’t with them?” Ellie asks and her voice echoes.

“No. He wouldn’t have come here himself. The Pack as you call them, have hated my presence here for some time, The Wolf may lead them but they have their own motivations and agendas as wild animals usually do.”

Ellie startles at the sound of muffled broken glass. Those men were already inside the house.

“I don’t like this.” Joel comments.

“We don’t have anywhere else to go,” Ellie replies.

He whispers harshly, “This don’t feel right.”

She could feel it too though as if they were mice being led through a maze.

“This way,” Malcolm says, holding his lantern up ahead of them. Root crept alongside her, her paws hardly making a sound.  

Behind them was The Pack and in front of them was an unknown. A question. A leap. One she didn’t want to take. The situation forced their feet forward. Joel rarely trusted anyone but he usually wasn’t wrong. He wasn’t wrong about August. The rock tunnel loomed ahead and Malcolm’s shadow grew more menacing. He beckoned them and the lantern light glided across the walls.

Ellie had learned over time and through practice, that a thing is never what it seems. She had learned the feeling before the firing of a bullet or the screech of a clicker. The air changes. It was changing now. The rock tunnel opened up into a much larger room that hinted at an extensive cave system beneath.

“Tell us where you are taking us,” Joel says.

“It’s not much further,” Malcolm reassures.

“I don’t give a damn. Tell us where you are taking us!” Joel demands. Malcolm walks on and calls back, “You can stay with the others if you want, but I guarantee they will be less welcoming than me.”

His lantern light disappears up ahead as he entered the large room. Joel let Root walk ahead of them. She was usually good at sniffing out bad situations. Once at the end of the tunnel they peered into the large cave-like room. Water dripped from a small crack in the ceiling and there were several dark tunnels ahead. Off to the side, was a bookshelf and a bed. It seemed Malcolm came here often. The candles cast many shadows towards the center of the large room. Malcolm, however, wasn’t in sight.

“Where the fuck did he go?” Ellie whispers.

The sound of a metal door shutting far off startles all three of them.

“Stay close,” Joel says and grips his pistol at his side.

“Mind tellin’ us what the fuck is goin’ on here?!” Joel yells and his voice carries further into the passageways. They wait there in that strange cave room but don’t receive an answer. The candles flicker and there is no sound. It’s quiet.

“The right or the left?” Ellie asks, looking to the passages.

“None. We head back.” Joel says.

“Even with those guys back there?” She asks and he’s already walking back towards the passage. Root was on his heels in front of Ellie. Before Ellie reaches the passageway, there’s an explosion from above that vibrates the entire cave.  Rocks crumble and tumble down the side and smash into the floor.

“JOEL!” Ellie screams as he dodges a boulder that was collapsing the tunnel he was in.  Root leaps forward just in time before the passage is blocked. The entire cave was shaking now. Joel grabs Ellie’s arm as they run forward, heading straight for the right passageway.

“Did they just fucking blow up the house or something?” Ellie asks as they ran through the dark. Their flashlights were swinging frantic light along the rock walls. They burst into the next room and Ellie falls to her knees, catching her breath.

“Man…” She exclaims and looks up to see Malcolm waiting for them at the end of the room with his lantern, calmly. Joel holds up his pistol, pointing it at him.

“Show us the way out of here,” Joel says, angrily.

Malcolm seems unfazed. “I set traps in my home long ago and that was one of them. If you would have kept up the pace, you wouldn’t have been almost crushed.”

“It would have been really fucking nice of you to tell us that,” Ellie says, standing and Root looks up at her panting.

“This way,” Malcolm says and opens a rusty door. His eerie lantern light disappears with him. Joel keeps his gun in his hand. They walk down an unusually narrow corridor of rock that seems to dip downwards.

“How much further is the exit?” Joel asks.

“There is none, I’m leading you to your deaths,” Malcolm states plainly but before Joel could react properly, Malcolm laughs and coughs against his fist.

“So tense, the both of you,” Malcolm says, amused before heading into an open dark doorway.

“It better be fuckin’ close.” Joel comments and Malcolm laughs again into the darkness. His lantern was an orb through the pitch.

The unease Ellie felt still remained, as she wondered what these caves were once used for. Root whined as she walked next to Ellie. She didn’t like this place either.

As if Malcolm read her mind, he says, “My family have used this cave for generations.”

“It’s so cozy…” Ellie says quietly sarcastic.

She wanted to ask how his sons became monsters but she didn’t think that conversation would lead anywhere she cared to know.

“Here we are,” Malcolm says and reaches for the large imposing door ahead.

When he opens it, the light of the morning blinds them. Ellie has to hold up her arm to blink away the spots before her eyes. Malcolm stepped into the bright light first and Root followed after him.

Out into the forest, from the hidden cave they just traversed, Ellie could finally breathe again. There were even birds singing in the trees and the soft sound of a creek in the background somewhere.

Joel was watching Malcolm with less of a murderous glare.

“Grover awaits you both,” Malcolm says, blowing out the lantern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the twist was interesting and I hope you are enjoying the story! Malcolm has been a lot of fun to write.


	19. Lure

For the first time in a long while, Ellie sees stars.

The sky was clear and the tiny dots of light blinked at her from above. That small change left her with a little more hope than she had been carrying.  Root looks at her and yawns. Ellie scratches her behind the ears.

Malcolm was eating with them by the fire. An odd comfortable silence passed between them for a time.

“Sorry about your house,” Ellie says.

“I always preferred the cave to be quite honest.” Malcolm replies.

Joel looks exhausted as if he was about to drop off any second but he was still wary of Malcolm. Ellie couldn’t blame him.

“I thought you were going to kill us,” Ellie states and it elicits a small chuckle from Malcolm.

“There are things I’ve done that are unforgivable but I’d like to think you both are trying to right the world. That’s worth something.” He sounds sincere.

“It’s for our own reasons though, not for a noble cause,” Ellie says and the fire spits embers at them.

“Those you loved, that my sons took away. I think that’s a good enough reason as any.” Malcolm stands, his long coat brushing the grass and his wild beard moving with the wind.

“Good luck to you then,” Joel speaks up from the silence and Malcolm gives them a smirk.

He walks away with a wave and says, “Come to Dalton, Wyoming if you ever feel like a cup of coffee.”

She didn’t want to know who Malcolm was or what he’s done but she was thankful for his help all the same.

The fire crackles pleasantly and Joel had already fallen asleep, against a slumbering Root.

\--

“Truth or Dare.”

“Ellie…I ain’t playin’.”

“Truth or Truth?”

“No.”

“Okay I pick truth, thank you, Joel.”

Joel sighs as their feet scrape the pavement. He’s holding the straps of his backpack casually and the sun is bright. Small puffs of clouds dot the horizon, giving the sky a much needed warmth.

“Truth….okay….I fucking hate beans.” She says.

Joel tries to school his face but a smile forced itself on his lips. “Well, that’s what’s for dinner.”

“Your turn…Truth.” She says.

She thought he was just going to sigh and not answer but he does. He looks at her, squinting from the bright day and replies, “I love beans.”

“Oh, what the fuck, you do not,” Ellie says with a huff.

“Especially like em’ cold,” Joel replies.

“Fuck you,” Ellie says with the flip of her middle finger. “I thought you were going to give me something real.”

Joel smiles at her, fully and it’s the first time in…well…a long time. It created a lump in her throat and made it hard to swallow. She blinks. The last thing she needed to do was start weeping over something so stupid.

“Truth…” Joel says. “I like listenin’ to you play your guitar.”

So, she does. She plays it that night by the fire. She sings softly, staring at the stars, giving them names. Joel listens with his eyes closed as if it’s the best sound in the world.

This was good. They were healing, weren’t they?

For the first time in a long while, she started to think of what they’d do after this was over and it was more than enough.

\--

Near Grover, Utah

It was so quiet out on the road, the birds weren’t singing any longer and the sky is hazy as if there's a fire somewhere.

They stood as the sign for Bear Creek Lodge looms over them like a beast. Next to the worn sign was another, recent one. It read:

_Fireflies welcome all_

_‘When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light’_

Ellie took her bat to it, until there was nothing but wood splinters. Joel didn’t say a word, he let her have her anger without judgment and she was thankful for that. She’d need it.

Ellie wondered how many innocent people were lured in by August’s nice smile and his fake paradise. She half expected to see bodies hanging on trees as they neared the lodge but there was nothing. In fact, it was clean. The roadway had been cleared. There are no branches in their way and even some of the road was repaired. She would guess trucks came through there often.

There are dark clouds gathering behind them. Soon, there would be no turning back. They veer from the road and into the woods. Root sneaks ahead of them as she usually did and disappears into the brush. Joel and Ellie follow her, quietly, pushing the thick foliage out of their view. Their feet crunch along the pebbles and twigs and it’s the only sound for quite a while.

Root was suddenly standing still as if there’s an invisible barrier in front of her. Joel pats Ellie on the shoulder and points to the very thin wire stretching across the opening of the trees. It was a trap.

“Can hardly see it.” Ellie whispers and Joel crouches even lower beneath it.

“Watch your head.” Joel comments and Ellie follows after them, afraid to move beyond it.

They spend the rest of the day, slowly making their way forward, through the boobytrapped forest. The Lodge property was starting to come into view from their position but they decided to climb to a higher vantage point.

Up the side of the rock wall, they edge their way to a small cliff, overlooking the forest and the large Bear Creek Lodge. Joel helps Ellie up the final ledge and they lie down on the rock beside each other. They take turns passing Joel’s rifle to peer through the scope. Root sat beside them, keeping watch on their flank.

The strange thing was, was that although the upkeep on the property seemed to be consistent, there was no one around. The back of the lodge was what they could see and it almost appeared vacant. There were no vines protruding through windows or broken furniture on the lawn. It just looked like it was closed for the season. There's a large gate surrounding the property that stretched through the forest, where it disappears to the front.

“Think they’re all inside?” Ellie asks, perplexed.

“I don’t know. This whole place looks staged.” Joel says and adjusts his position, resting his rifle on his shoulder.

“Staged so that people will approach the gate.” Ellie continues.

Night came and with it, no change. No lights were turned on, no candles or lanterns. It was just pitch dark. It may not have been as menacing as Daniel’s house but there was something _very_ wrong here.

“There’s no one home.” Ellie states.

“Why don’t you try and get some rest, Ellie,” Joel says and looks through his scope.

Ellie wanted to argue but she was far too exhausted. “Wake me up if you see anything. I’m talking… _anything_.” Ellie recites and Joel hums in response.

There was no need to move from her spot, she just moved her backpack over as a pillow. Ellie had become used to forcing herself to sleep anywhere, including rocks, concrete, you name it. So, when she shuts her eyes, it doesn’t take long for her to drift into slumber.

She doesn’t dream. She just floats in that eerie unawareness of sleep.

When she blinks awake, her face is smashed against the backpack and her neck aches from the position she was in.  She moves slowly with a moan and looks beside her where Joel had been for most of the night but he wasn’t there.  His rifle sits silent on the ledge. She sits up quickly, ready to call out as softly as she could, when she hears from behind her, “Mornin’”

Joel is sitting against the other side of the ledge eating an apple with Root asleep beside him. They had become quite the pair.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Ellie says and he huffs, tossing her an apple. She catches it, rolling it between her palms. She hadn’t had an apple in a long time. This was something to celebrate. She bites into it and savors.

Joel chews and says, “There ain’t nobody inside, from what I can see. We need to find another angle.”

Ellie nods and devours the rest of the apple, tossing the core over the cliff-side. They grab their stuff not long after and carefully climb down to the forest below.

They bypass two more traps that Root detects and head towards the side of the property. The forest was becoming less dense on this side. There’s an old broken snowmobile crashed into a tree. It looked old enough to have been sitting there for at least a decade.

“You ever ride a snowmobile?” Ellie asks, stepping over a log.

His response was panicked, which catches her off guard. “Ellie…” The way he breathes her name, makes her turn around to face him. He’s staring at her wide-eyed for what feels like an eternity but she can’t bring herself to speak.

Joel is suddenly ripped from the ground by a wire pulling him upwards into the trees.

“JOEL!”

He was hanging upside down from a tree, his leg is wrapped in a wire. It reminded her of when he set off Bill’s trap those years ago.  He was dangling there, most likely trying to get his bearings. Root barks, looking up at him.  

“What the fuck! How did this happen?” She calls to him and he swings aimlessly above her.

“I don’t know…just…watch your feet!” He yells back.

“Watch _my_ feet?” Ellie calls.

Joel curses and tries to swing to a branch to grab a hold of it. Ellie follows the wire to the tall vine-covered tree behind him. It was high up, a lot higher than Bill’s trap.

“I’m going to try and climb up,” Ellie says.

Joel protests, “No! Just gimme a minute.”

Ellie crosses her arms and watches him flail. “Let me help you!” She insists. Root barks at him again, tilting her head. Joel takes out his knife from his belt and dangles there.

“You know you can’t cut it. You’ll break your fucking neck falling.” Ellie says. She moves then, and she watches her steps towards the tree to climb it. _Why did the tree have to be so tall?_

“ _Be_ careful!” He replies.

Ellie reaches for the nearest branch and pulls herself up. The branches were closer together the higher she climbs and it made it easier to get her footing.  She slips once on the way up but was quick to grab a branch in the process. She was happy that Joel wasn’t able to witness it.

“Ellie?!” He calls.

“I’m fine, almost there.”

She was now at level with Joel. She needed to shimmy out on the thick branch to help him grab a hold of it. She steps over into the valley of two branches and then hugs the largest one protruding towards Joel. She stills herself when she hears the sound of traipsing footsteps.

“Shit!” She breathes and Joel turns, frantically searching for her in the tree. He calms when he spots her and quiets his breath.

Root growls below, towards the noise and Ellie whispers to her, “Stay.”

Ellie spots two men walking through the woods, stepping over traps as if they knew the pathway by heart.  They were wearing the familiar Firefly patches on their arms. She watches Joel turn his head to look, keeping the rope steady and completely silent. He slowly pulls his pistol out and points it forward. Ellie pushes herself against the branch, calming her heart.

“I don’t see the fucking point of checking these woods any longer.” One of the men says and their voice carries.

“I don’t mind. There’s never any—“ The second guy stops mid-sentence and Ellie holds her breath when she notices that they’ve spotted Joel. They were struck silent and Joel was still hanging upside down with his pistol pointed at them.

“Oh shit!” One of them exclaims as he reaches for a walkie-talkie and Joel’s shoulders tense. He fires three times, killing the one on the left and wounding the one on the right.

Ellie looks down at Root who is waiting for instruction. “Go!” Ellie says and Root takes off towards the other one. His screams are cut short with a vicious growl.

“Goddammit! We need to go!” Joel says quick. He moves the rope back and forth swinging himself towards the branch Ellie was on. Ellie shimmies as far as she can go without breaking the branch.  She reaches her hand out and waits for him to gain enough momentum. 

His hand brushes hers and he’s almost there.

“Come on!” She calls.

Sweat was trickling down the side of her face and she stretches as far as she can manage. He finally grabs her hand and she pulls with all her strength to get him to grab onto the branch.  When he finally does, with a grunt, they both exhale with relief. He gets out his knife and begins sawing at the wire attached to his leg. The wire snaps and he holds onto the thick branch tightly.

There were more men coming. They had heard the gunshot and the three of them needed to be out of the vicinity before they arrived. Root gives an encouraging bark as they descend from the tree, both aching from the effort.

Ellie jumped to the ground first and was looking up to Joel when she heard a gunshot ring out from the trees and a burst of pain shoot through her shoulder.  She yells, falling onto the trunk of the tree and Joel is screaming for her. There’s another shot, followed by the echoes of Root tearing apart someone in the bushes. Joel suddenly falls from the tree, landing in the pile of leaves at her feet. She calls for him but the sound had faded. The colors were muted. She rests her hand on her bleeding shoulder and stumbles over to him.  He had been shot in the side. She can see the blood blooming on his shirt as he tries to sit up. Another asshole wearing a Firefly patch appears and Ellie doesn’t hesitate. She pulls out her pistol and shoots him. She cringes from her throbbing shoulder and hears Root terrorizing someone else to the left of their position. She throws Joel’s arm over her good shoulder and whistles for Root.

There’s a distant sound of footsteps and panicked terror took hold of her heart.  


	20. Beneath

Time did slow. There was such a thing.

Joel has always had these moments of clarity when he’s meeting death head on and then that clarity stagnates. Frozen somewhere, like the open dead eyes of the Firefly imposter that Ellie just dispatched.

Joel leaned on Ellie, both bloodied from their wounds. Another one bursts from the trees and Joel had his pistol out. He fires knocking him into the grass and Root finishes him off.

Ellie moves them forward, putting away her pistol. He knew she was running low on ammo. Root turns back, her muzzle dripping. She was showing them the safe way out. She was their guide.

Joel thinks the bullet went straight through, which was a good thing, it just hurt like hell.

“How you doin’?” Joel manages and Ellie breathes heavily. “I’m fine, you?”

“I’m great…” He grunts in reply and she shakes her head.

He can tell she’s in a lot of pain from her strained tone. They needed to get somewhere and look at her shoulder wound. Root guides them, her fur a beacon. 

She leads them towards a waterfall, the noise drowns out much of anything else. Hidden beside the waterfall, is a very small cave that would fit the three of them fine. Root goes in first to sniff around and then barks to give the all-clear. Joel swears that dog is smarter than he is.

Inside the cave, Ellie sets him against the rock wall and they both collapse, wheezing and breathing in the half-dark.

“We have to take care of your shoulder,” Joel says.

“No. No way. You’re first.” She says and scoots over to him. He lies down on the wet floor, complying and lifts up his bloody shirt. The gunshot wound was on the other side of the scar he received from being impaled, which was much worse than this. Ellie tried to wash the blood and dirt from her hands in the waterfall before staggering back inside the small cave. She dug in his backpack for first aid materials and began to patch him up as best as she could. She tapes the bandage, shakily and sets her hand on his which was resting on his chest. He glances up at her. Her eyes were wild with adrenaline still.

“Your turn.” He says.

“I’ll do it. It’s your turn to rest and you shouldn’t sit up for a while.” Ellie says.

She releases his hand and he stares up at the rocky ceiling. He listens to her painful grunts as she patches up her shoulder.

“You asked me…” Joel begins and then swallows. “…when we first started this about Tommy.”

He hears her struggling with the bandage and then she just goes silent. She slides over beside him, her face above his now.

“I told you I wasn’t gonna speak of it but that…wasn’t fair to you.” Joel says. His side throbbed and he closes his eyes with a cringe. “You cared about him too.”

Ellie’s eyes were becoming glassy in the dim light of the cave. 

“There was nothin’ left to bury.” His voice wavers at the end and he clenches his jaw. He couldn’t look at her. Not right now or he’d lose it. He focuses his eyes above him. 

“They burned him alive?” She asks, on the verge of tears. He nods once, unable to speak. She lies her head on his chest, careful to avoid his wound. His chest felt tight as if a tide was receding in his rib cage.

“Why?! Why the fuck did they do it?” Ellie asks.

“Why does anyone do the things they do?” He rests his hand on her head.

“I just want to know why,” Ellie says.

“Don’t count on it, kiddo. Nothin’ is ever tied up like that.”

Ellie weeps into his shirt.  Root whines from her darkened corner and stands to lie down against them both. Ellie sets her hand on her fur and they stay like that for most of the night.

\--

He had tried to stay awake, especially with _who the hell knows what_ lurking in the woods but he was exhausted.

He does dream though.

He dreams of ash and fire. A man with a wolf skull for a mask. The flames lick at his face and he feels that terrible defeat born out of dread, of hate. He thinks he sees Sarah standing next to The Wolf. She was waiting for him to burn. Marlene was striking the match.

Henry’s voice echoes in his head _‘it’s all your fault’_

The dream mutates and he’s lying on the ground. August takes off his wolf skull and he has that same smile he had for them when they met. It looks less welcoming now.

He says, “Ellie’s gone.”

\--

Joel jolts awake to the bright morning light, shining into the cave. His side felt cold, Ellie had moved away. He tries to sit up and he winces at the pain that follows. He peers forward towards the light. 

But Ellie was gone. Root sat at the entrance of the cave keeping watch.

“Ellie!” Joel calls and this time he stands, grunting from the effort. “ELLIE!”

Root watches him silently and he stumbles, using the wall for support. Her bag was gone.

“Where the hell…” Joel whispers.

His eyes dart frantically over the small cave before he walks over to Root.

“Where’d she go?” Joel asks her and Root barks. He notices something different about Root. She had something around her neck. Joel knelt down slowly and grabbed the small pendant. It was a Firefly pendant and on the back it read: Riley Abel.

Ellie had given Root Riley’s pendant as a collar sometime in the night. He didn't even want to _think_ what that meant. 

“ELLIE!” He yells again. There was nothing.

He sees a small crumpled piece of paper, folded, and sitting next to Root.  He picks it up, quick and smooths it out. It was Ellie’s writing.

_I have to finish this and I can only do that if I know you and Root are safe. I’m sorry._

“Goddammit, Ellie,” Joel says and throws the paper to the floor. “We have to find her.”

Root barks and Joel nods, limping over to his backpack. He knew Ellie knew that he’d come after her but she wanted a head start. He didn’t know how much of one she had.

The sky was bright, far too bright and he has to squint against it once he leaves the cave. He limps fast, getting used to the burning agony radiating from his side. Root follows, walking alongside him, sniffing the ground.

Soon, he doesn’t even need Root to track, it was more about following the hacked corpses of Firefly imposters. There are at least four he comes across while trudging through the boobytrapped forest. She was headed for the Lodge.

He never doubted she could take care of herself. That wasn’t the issue, but he knew how headstrong she was and stubbornly brave. She’d run into a crowd of these assholes and end up getting herself killed. Not out of stupidity but out of some archaic eye-for-an-eye she abides by.

He wanted to watch them burn just as much as she did but if it meant losing her then he’d give up this whole mission and just leave his anger to gather in his head like storm clouds.

He didn’t really understand where these guys were coming from. There was no base around, except for the Lodge and from what he could tell that looked empty like it was staged for visitors.  

They lured people here, like the Hunters lured people in, but where were they hiding? Joel stares down at the dirt below his feet and thinks of Daniel’s Garden. Being shoved into a box beneath the ground wasn’t going to do his nightmares any favors. He thinks of Malcolm’s cave beneath his property and it makes sense. Daniel and August probably grew up, playing in that cave and spending most of their lives underground. It would make sense that what he saw here was just the surface.

This was always going to be too much for them but that’s the way it’s always been. Too much. Too many. Too soon.


	21. The Hatch

Ellie sometimes imagined who she’d be in the old world.

She’s read diary entries written decades ago that were held together by dust; the tomb of time.  It fascinated her, the rituals those people from that time put themselves through and how little it mattered in the end.

Did it matter now that those houses were all silent and vacant? There was no one around to miss them or to remember. Ellie can’t help but think about their nameless faces, smiling in eroding pictures on the wall. _Did she make it? Did he find her? Are they still alive?_   

_Do they still exist?_

It shouldn’t matter but it does. It eats away at her, long after the houses all blurred together.

When she was a kid she’d make up stories about them. They’d all find each other somewhere and live in some lost community for the forgotten.

She thinks about the story behind this lodge as she scales the back fence. She thinks about the people who used to vacation here as she sneaks along the inside perimeter. It wasn’t helping her focus but that’s the way her mind has always been.

She crouches and she hopes she has been undetected once she makes it to the back wall of the Lodge. The dark brown wood is like a scar against the sky. Much like Daniel’s house…nothing good happened here anymore. Not for a _very_ long time.

She felt bad for leaving Joel and Root behind but she hoped she’d find a way to put an end to this nightmare before they caught up with her. She couldn’t lose anyone else. She wasn’t going to lose anyone else.

She peeks into the darkened window, her hand resting on the sill. She couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There’s dark covered furniture she imagined was dusty and unused.

The back door was locked but it wasn’t much of one. She used her knife to pop off the loose doorknob and snuck inside.

The back room she entered was a dark kitchen. It was large and it was used often. She slowly stood, quietly. Everything was deafeningly silent.

She was confused as to _why the hell_ The Pack was guarding this place. She pulls out her machete from her back strap and walks over to the open doorway. The hallway was narrow and long but there was no indication anyone was going to jump out at her. She passed a large dining hall, with a long-covered table; dark and dreary. She doesn’t understand why anyone would have enjoyed dining in there, even before all of this. She pressed her back to the wall and peeked into the next large room, which was an open doorway that lead to the front foyer. The foyer/lobby was huge. The ceiling stretched high above with a chandelier made out of antlers in the center of the room. Two large staircases spiraled downwards from opposite sides of the room, leading to the equally silent second floor. At the front was a desk that had been cracked in half by a beam from the ceiling. It had fallen onto it. Dust collected in the cracks but nothing was overgrown. They were taking care of this entire property for some reason. Even if they tricked people into coming here, it seemed none of them actually made it inside the Lodge. There’s a pile of Firefly uniforms and patches in the corner, organized beside an empty box. Ellie would guess August wasn’t lying about going to the Firefly lab. It was where she figured they found the uniforms.

The second floor was much the same as the first. It has large, imposing rooms with covered furniture. There’s nothing worth seeing. The wind sounded more violent upstairs against the windows and she could hear the creaking of wood muffled from somewhere but there was no indication anyone was here.

She walks back downstairs, quietly to the first floor, holding her machete against her thigh. She goes back the way she came and this time she doesn’t pass by the creepy dining hall. She steps inside it. All the chairs were covered in white sheets. They were like little ghosts sitting at the covered table. There was a door at the back of the room, which blended into the wall but it wasn’t too hard to spot from this angle. She walks the length of the dining hall and reaches for the strangely shaped door handle. It was the size of the head of a cane. She turned it and the door silently opened. The room before her wasn’t a room at all but a long dark hallway, so dark that she had to turn on her flashlight. The walls and floors look to have been deliberately painted black, to make it appear even more dark than usual. The paint was chipping in some places. It seems to have been painted years ago. She walks down the long corridor, feeling the walls closing in. It felt like they were breathing, moving closer as she nears the door at the end of the hall. There’s another strange small handle for the door. She carefully twists it and to her surprise, it opens.

It was yet another dark hallway that looked exactly like the one she just walked through. It seemed to be the same length as well. She let her feet carry her forward, her flashlight so bright in the dark. She opens the door at the far end of the hall. Inside, it resembled the stairs to the basement of Daniel’s house, only there was no horrible smell. The shadows crept in her periphery and she stepped down on the first step, holding her machete tightly. The board creaked beneath her feet and she heard what sounded like footsteps in the dark downstairs. Had someone heard her? She covers up her flashlight and presses her back to the wall and waits. She listens very carefully. 

There are footsteps but they’re very measured and slow like they’re sneaking. She pulls out her pistol. The footsteps stop and she takes a small quiet breath. She turns, uncovering her flashlight, revealing a man with a bear skull for a mask standing at the bottom of the stairs. It blinds him, catching him off guard and she fires without hesitation, twice. He falls to the floor with a thud, moaning for a moment before he went silent. She descends the stairs, wide-eyed with terror. Her flashlight catching shadows along the walls. She kicks him hard but he doesn’t move. She had killed him. She wondered why he was sitting down here in the dark.

“Creepy fuckers.” She says and pulls off the animal skull from his face. It was just a normal looking man underneath. Average, middle-age, most likely. She searches him, finding a pistol similar to hers. She checked the chamber to see that it was loaded and she put it in her belt.  

There wasn’t much in the small basement area, except a chair, where she assumes the man was sitting when she disturbed him. Beside the uncomfortable metal chair was a hatch in the floor. It was very similar to the hatch Malcolm had in his home. Even the handle was exactly the same. She wondered if Malcolm had owned this Lodge, it reminded her of him. She thinks of the possible unforgivable acts he spoke about and wondered if this had gone on before the epidemic.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She asks herself in the quiet.

She stares down at the hatch, and it sits there, quietly waiting for her to open it. She knew it was insane to even go further with this, but she was going to finish this, even if it killed her.

If she didn’t then these…men would always be out here, luring unsuspecting people to their deaths and burning other towns like Jackson. How many of them could there really be? Who else would stop them?

She had to do _this_.

She takes a deep breath and walks away from the hatch. Can she do this?

Her mind was a maelstrom, it flipped through all the possible scenario’s and none of them were good. She needed a plan, a better one. She had no idea it was this intricate and she had no idea what was waiting for her below. She shouldn’t have left without Joel and Root. What the fuck was she thinking? She scoffs at herself and walks towards the stairs.

She needed a plan.

She ascends the stairs and this time runs through the double hallway and makes it back to the dining hall. She turns then, seeing two blurry figures outside of the window, in the shape of Joel and Root. They were here and the relief she felt was immense. He would be so pissed at her but she was so stupid. She goes to leave the dining hall, only to have someone grab her from behind and shove a cloth over her mouth. She could smell the chloroform. She kicked back, grabbing her small knife from her ankle and stabbing backward. Her attacker yells and they both tumble backward and she gulps the air when he releases her. She was dizzy from it, hardly able to sit up. Her attacker was reaching for her again and she stabs him, viciously. He was wheezing and she started crawling. It was all she could manage, she couldn’t stand up. She’s disoriented and she’s going to pass out. She forces her eyes open. Joel would be here soon.

“Joel…” She manages but he wasn’t here yet. He couldn’t hear her. She forces herself to crawl further, out into the hallway but she loses consciousness not long after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you still enjoy reading this! Thank you to those that are :)


	22. What You Have Wrought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the end of this fic soon! Looking forward to finishing it up, even if I'll miss writing it :)

The Lodge is as silent as a tomb.

Root whined softly as they entered in through the back. Joel had his shotgun in his hands and he was ready. All that matters is finding Ellie, the rest would come after. He wasn’t thinking about the throbbing pain in his side, it was dulled, in the background. He swings the shotgun out in front of him as he enters the hallway. He hears faint moaning coming from one of the rooms on left. Root growls and walks beside him as he comes to the doorway of a dining hall. There are blood speckles marking the ground and a man on the floor by the dining room table. He was still alive. He was wearing an animal skull and his breathing was shallow. There had been a struggle here but there was no sign of Ellie. Root snarls at the man and his moans grow louder. He tries to sit up. Joel rips the mask off of him and points his shotgun at him.  The man holds up a shaky hand, pleading.

“Please..” He says.

“Where is she?” 

The man coughs up blood but says nothing. Joel doesn’t have the time.

“One last chance….where is she?” He asks, darkly.

The man slowly points to the door at the other end of the room that was wide open and led into darkness. He pleads with Joel again and Joel fires.

\--

_His brother had been turned to ash. The heat of the burning buildings behind him, wrapped around him like a vise. Everything was aflame, the sky was red and smoke filled. This was going to be his end._

_The man wearing the wolf skull nodded at Joel from afar. As if to say ‘see ya soon’. As if to say ‘see the road I’ve paved for you’._

_They stare at one another for what feels like an eternity. The world dying around them and Joel thinks he’s finally reached some kind of hell._

_Then he sees her. Ellie. Walking the destroyed path through Jackson, holding his backpack he had lost in the mud. The man in the wolf skull had vanished and she was walking towards him instead. Tears staining her face. It had been a month since they had seen one another and this was what they were left with.  She stops when she sees him; falls to her knees and he runs towards her._

\--

Joel stands in the basement, his flashlight trained on the hatch in the floor. Root watches him in the dark from the other side. She knew it too. That Ellie was in there somewhere.

He reaches down and grips the handle. The hatch door was heavy. It squeaks open and he has to use his shoulder to push it aside. His side burned from the effort and he rested his hand on the healing wound.

He stares down at the flickering path below. He couldn’t see them but there were candles lit down there, casting fleeting dim light on the walls.

Root jumps down first and disappears into the shadows, waiting on Joel. It wasn’t a far drop and the ladder was short enough. He climbed down and dropped to the rocky passage. There were candles aligning the walls, their wax dripping onto the floor. All was quiet.

They walk down the long narrow passageway and it begins to descend slowly, much like the cave under Malcolm’s property. This seemed man-made like someone purposefully dug through and created this place. The purpose of this place was not something he wanted to think on.

It didn’t take long for him to start seeing old piles of shoes and clothes. Trinkets, like necklaces and figurines. They most likely belonged to the people who were lured here.  They weren’t organized, they were just tossed into piles and left to rot as if it were something they were proud of.

He had to think of Ellie, that’s all that mattered. That’s why he was here.

He rounded a corner that brought him to yet another dark passageway, lit up by candles. At the far end of this passageway was a room that opened up from the rock. Inside, a woman stands in the center lighting candles.  She has long white hair, pulled back into a braid that stretches down her back. He slowly walked towards the room, his shotgun ready.  Root eyed her from the doorway but they didn’t step inside. The woman turns, glancing at him before blowing out a match. The room was covered in numerous candles, and the wax had formed messy piles on the floor. He points the shotgun in her direction. She didn’t look frightened.

She speaks before he could, “You are looking for your girl, yes?”

“Where is she?” Joel asks, gruffly.

She looks exhausted. The kind of weariness one develops over years. 

“The Wolf gave her to the maze.” She says.

“What the hell does that mean?” Joel’s grip on the shotgun tightens.

“I can’t take you there.” She says, softly.

“But you will,” Joel demands.

Root begins to growl, it’s low and threatening. The woman eyes them both.

Another man wearing an animal skull appears from one of the open passageways that led to the candle filled room. Joel dispatches him with a shotgun before he even realizes anything is amiss and his body falls limp into the piles of wax. The woman doesn’t startle, she just stands there as if this was expected. She blinks at him and says, “follow me.”

She turns and goes down the passageway the man he just shot came from. This one is a short rock hallway that leads to a bridge over a chasm. It stretches down to an underground river below. He could hear the water rushing through.

“May I ask your name?” She asks, casually. 

“Keep walkin'"

“The girl's name is Ellie? Is that right?” She asks and they step off the bridge and into another dark passage. Joel was getting tired of all these dark corners and dingy candles.

Someone lunges at him then from behind a wall and grabs at his back but Root was there already. She pounces on him, surprising Joel’s attacker and rips him to shreds. The woman runs away while they were distracted.

“Goddammit.” Joel breathes.

Both Root and Joel don’t bother chasing after her. Joel keeps his shotgun ready and examines the dark corners as he enters each small room. One of the larger rooms houses empty cages which were rusted with age.

Something moves in his periphery and he shoots at the dark shape, missing, cracking apart the wall in the process. Root takes off then towards another passageway. They were all starting to blend together. He hears a yell and then the inevitable snarl.

While Root was preoccupied in the other room, he senses someone behind him. He turns just in time to see the woman that ran away a moment ago, charging at him with a serrated dagger. He fires, just as she was aiming for his neck. She falls to the floor, dead.

He wanted to be done with this. There were too many of them. He shouldn’t have fallen asleep. He shouldn’t have let her go on her own.

Tommy, Maria, and the town of Jackson are all dead. They weren’t coming back and what did any of this solve?

That was the whole point though. It didn’t matter what he believed. This was her mission and he had promised to see it to the end.

Here he was, at the precipice of cracking to pieces. “ELLIE!” He screams not much caring who hears.

\--

Ellie had a dream that August took her face in his hands and he froze her thoughts like icicles, hanging from her skull. He plucked them out, read them aloud and she tried not to scream.

_Ellie couldn’t move._

It’s the first thing she realizes as her eyes start to open. Someone was carrying her. She could feel the chilled air on her face and the movement of someone walking. They were carrying her gently and she thought of Joel but they didn’t feel like Joel. She would know.

The world was a blur and everything was so quiet. She couldn’t keep her eyes open.

When she wakes up again, she’s lying on the cold hard floor. She blinks the blur away from her vision and she sees someone. They aren’t moving but they’re facing her. The shadow person is looking down at her with its frightening dark. Ellie tries to back up and push against the rocky wall. There are bones scattered all around.

Do they _eat_ them? Those that wander into their trap?

The face of the person above comes into view. They’re wearing a wolf skull for a mask.  It was _him_.

“I had hoped Daniel’s house would eat him alive, you saw its teeth, didn’t you?” He asks and his voice sounded much deeper than the pitch he feigned when she first met him. she tries to keep her eyes open but she can’t. The world was becoming foggy again.

She hears him say, proudly, “Look…look what you have wrought.”

But she couldn’t look, she was falling into slumber. 


	23. The Spider And The Wolf

Ellie jolts awake and hits her head on a rock wall with the force of it.

It was pitch dark, except for the single candle that burned beside her. She could move, she wasn’t restrained. Her bag and weapons are gone.  The sound of a clicker nearby snaps her to her feet. She grabs the candle from the floor, her only source of light.

“Where the fuck..” Ellie breathes.

She felt along the wall as she walked further ahead into the pitch darkness. There’s a sharp turn ahead. She quickly moves around the corner. The candle drops hot wax on her hand and she almost drops it. Further ahead is another narrow hallway but with two branching pathways. Her fingers trace the wall as she moves forward, listening for clickers. There are many but they aren’t near her position yet.

She turns down the left pathway which leads to another sharp turn.  She puts her back to the wall this time when she enters another hallway. This corridor is short, and it looks to be a dead end.

It’s then she started to notice something off about the walls. They weren’t just made of rock but bone. There were skulls molded inside it, mouths open, staring sightlessly.

This was a maze. A catacomb. This was a game.

Ellie knew that The Wolf was waiting at the end of it like most monsters do.

If she thought too long on it, he became less of a man and more of a beast. She banishes those thoughts and thinks of August, the man behind the mask. He was flesh and blood and she would put an end to him.

Her candle flickers, close enough to burn her face as she walks back out into the pathway she was originally on. The other corridor was much longer and darker than the last one. She doesn’t know how that was possible. At the far end, something shambles into view; a screeching silhouette. She stays completely still and watches its head bob and spasm. The clicker hadn’t noticed her just yet. It turned and went back down another pathway into the dark. She snuck along the wall, the candle still in her hand. She turned the corner and watches it disappear further into the dark where the light refused to venture. There were skeletons lying on the floor against the wall, long dead. They still had their tattered clothing on.  She bent down searching the nearest one’s pocket to find matches inside. This was deliberate. He had left this here for her. Why did he want her to succeed? Why not just kill her and be done?

She manages to sneak by the clicker without incident and finds herself in a spiraling hallway with many twists and turns. It was like she was wandering through an abstract painting. The bones, which are crowding the walls, became much more numerous. There’s still no light to be found except for the candle she held.

There was a Runner standing still in the dark and it spots her candle. It screams and charges at her before she has time to dive out of the way. She drops her candle and it pushes her to the ground, snapping its teeth at her neck. She holds her arms up with a yelp as she tried to push it back. She reached for the candle that was still burning on its side beside her and swung it forward, burning the Runner’s eye. It screams again, releasing her and Ellie trips it to the floor and smashes her foot down on its neck, ending it.

She could hardly see in front of her since the candle was burnt out and she quickly reaches into her pocket to get the matches. She shakily struggled with getting one to light. When it finally did, she set the flame to her candle. It lit up the small hallway eerily once more. She stood there, catching her breath and leaning against the rock wall.

“Tell me what the fuck it is you want from this,” Ellie whispers, harshly.

She knew this was fun for August, that’s not what she was wondering. She just wanted to know why about everything. She wanted him to tell her why he destroyed what was left of her normalcy. Why he murdered the last of Joel’s family. She knew most things aren’t answered. Joel always told her that things never get tied up into a nice little bow. Too many things left unsaid, never enough time.

She walks on, spreading the light from her messy candle as she goes.

There were more clickers, but she was able to slip past a few and silence the last one when it discovered her position.

After a while, she couldn’t even tell if she had been in the same hallway more than once. Things were blending together in the dark and making her see silhouettes when there were none. She kicked the wall with a frustrated scream when she reached yet another dead end.

It was long after that, that she discovered a small knife sticking out of the back of a dead clicker that she didn’t remember killing. She pulled it out of its infected flesh and examined it. The knife looked familiar, but in a faded sort of way, like she had seen it in a dream. There were initials carved into it.

_T.M._

It didn’t take long for her to realize who this knife once belonged to. _Tommy Miller._

She wiped it with her thigh and held it in her right hand, tightly.

The next Runner she sees, she slices open its throat and buries the knife in its head once it falls. She could play this game that August clearly was so eager to play. She pulls the knife out, staining her hand and she walks on. The maze started to make sense now in the flickering dark. It felt like she could understand the corners, the turns and the slow crawl to the center. The center, where The Wolf awaits. She had hoped.

She could feel the gravity pull her to the center as if she is falling sideways. It had become silent down these last few passageways, the clickers were gone. She was entering someplace new. The air was stale, unused and smelled faintly of mud. There were still bones collected along the inside of the walls, like trophies. She recognizes the darkness here, it’s the same she’s always faced. It may come to her and Joel in different forms but there was always someone ready to destroy everything they were.

She stops when she rounds the corner to see light filtering in from an open passageway ahead. It’s dim, like the glow of a torch. She could hear the flames from where she stood. She slowly approached the light, her candle in her left hand and Tommy’s knife in her right. She was ready for whatever was coming. She _had_ to be. She steps into the light from the door and squints at the torch that rests against the wall. It was a claustrophobically narrow passage. The torch was for her. She threw the candle down and grabbed it from the wall. It was heavier than what she expects and the flames reach out to her face.

She walks forward, the flame devours what was left of the dark. At the far end was a large wooden door and she stood silently, breathing.

Ellie knew she may not be The Wolf and all the fury he had at his disposal. What he didn’t know though, was that she was The Spider. She had lived, patient and surviving in the dark for so long. She had made it her home as much as he had.

No one knows the things she’s done and what she’s become. You can’t see it just by looking at her and that is what makes her more dangerous than even Joel. Joel who wears his deeds written in the intensity of his stare or the slump of his shoulders.

Ellie, the twenty-year-old girl with the torn jeans and easy smile. That’s what they see. They don’t see the web beneath until it’s too late.


	24. Returning

When Ellie opened the old wooden door, she didn’t know what horrors lurked inside. What she finds, is a large room in the shape of a circle, with many ways to enter and leave. There’s no roof, it’s opened high above to the stars and there are so many stars this night. The night air lingers and wraps around her, drawing her in. There are vines on the walls that she assumes grew roses during the warmer months. In the center, is a uniquely carved table and chairs. Torches surround it, all lit on the walls. This looks like someone’s dream she's stepping into, it felt intimate, not hers. There are bookshelves at the far end of the room that stretch high above and a ladder to reach all the books that currently crowded it.

She sees _him_ then, where the shadow meets the light.

He stands there, in his dark robe, but he isn't wearing the wolf skull this time. She can see his face, which is warmed by the torches. There are shadows that linger over him, but he banishes them when he steps forward with a knowing smile. His eyes aren’t crazed and he isn’t laughing. He isn’t lost like Lila or Daniel were. The darkness didn’t claim August like it did the others. He was like Malcolm in that way. Her hand was going numb from gripping the knife so hard.

“You’ve come a long way.” He says it like they're old friends and she's visiting. This August was much different than the August she met in the library. Even the way he holds himself and moves is more confident, calm. It’s animal-like; a predator.

“You’re a fucking monster,” Ellie says. She can’t help but admit to the obvious.

“Maybe. I gave you a purpose though, didn’t I? It brought you all the way here.” August says and he crosses his arms.

“Why do this? What the fuck is the point?” Ellie grits and she tries to keep her anger in check. Lashing out now might prove disastrous. She had to get a sense of him and their surroundings. He obviously wasn’t leaping to tear her apart yet. The Spider was patient.

“Point? Who was trying to prove a point? Not me, surely.” August says. Ellie bets he likes the sound of his own voice.

“Why not just kill us when we first met?” Ellie questions.

“Grover needs you. We can cure the world.” August replies, serious.

Ellie bursts out laughing then, she couldn’t help it. It was mockingly loud and she didn’t give a shit. August smiles at her but she could tell her laughter grated on him.

_Human after all._

It takes her a while to gain some composure again and he waits.

“You….want to cure the world?” Ellie says.

“The Fireflies may have been flawed and they are extinct, but they were right. We salvaged a lot from their lab and learned a lot in the process.” August was smirking now, the small annoyance he had was long gone. He was smug.

She suddenly felt chilled as if the warmth was never to return.

“You came for me.” Ellie whispers, more to herself than to August.

“I’m sorry?  Could you repeat that.” He looks happy at her sudden change in demeanor. She knew he heard her.

Ellie was shaking now and she felt like her chest was going to cave in. _It was her. It was because of her. It was all because of her._

She tries to train her face but she couldn’t stop shaking. “You came to Jackson, looking for me and I wasn’t there.”

“We did.” He says and Ellie clenches her jaw. Her hand that’s holding the knife, felt like it could snap off. He continues, “this was better though, you went on a journey of self-discovery and here you are.”

She wanted to tear him apart, rip him open, give him back to the darkness where he belonged.

“Oh…I know that look.” He says and gives her a side smile. “You want to use that knife of yours. I figured you’d want it back but I wasn’t sure if you were sentimental.”

She slowly moved to the side, and he turns with her as if she’s looking into a shadowed mirror. Ellie holds her knife up as a challenge.

He sighs as if he’s disappointed, “Ellie…you made it here.”

Several of his followers appeared from the darkened passageways surrounding the room.

August feigns a quiet kindness, “you have a second chance to be what Marlene wanted you to be.”

“Fuck you.” Ellie spits.

The others close in on her. There are too many of them for her to take on with just a small knife. She lunges forward, catching August off guard and stabs him in the side. It isn't coordinated and she knows it’s not a killing blow. They don’t topple over like she initially thought they would. They are standing together, with her fingers slippery from his blood. He sets his hands on hers, holding the knife in place; buried in his abdomen. He was calm, as calm as one could be in this situation, and he is staring straight into her eyes. It was so unnerving that it felt like her heart had just stopped and time ceased.

“Make it count.” He whispers. It’s as if he wants her to gut him.

The others were grabbing her now and pulling her back, her knife still stuck in August’s abdomen and his eyes still on hers. It didn’t feel real. There’s a moment that Ellie thought she had dreamt this up. What kind of nightmare was this?  

Then came that familiar snarl and growl. Her heart pounds in her ears. A comfort is fighting its way through the abstract terror. She saw a blur of gray fur jump passed her and rip one of the men that had a hold of her to the floor.

_Root._

The man’s screams were cut short and then there's gunshots, a pistol, echoing in the room.

_Joel._

She turned to see Root dragging another into the darkness. Joel was standing across the room, having killed at least three. One lay moaning on the floor by his feet. He glanced at her the relief in his features and he fires, killing the moaning one on the floor. She turns back to where August had just been but he wasn’t there any longer. He had vanished. Joel makes his way over to her and they don’t have to speak. He just knows. He holds out a machete and she takes it gratefully. Root shakes away the blood from her fur and howls at the darkness beyond.

Root leads, tracking the blood trail that August left in his wake. Into the next passageway, Ellie cuts down a woman who lunges at her with a small dagger. They encounter more of The Pack in the next room and Ellie sees the terror, unobstructed by masks. Some of them try to flee but none make it out of the room.

There's so much blood. It drenches Ellie’s hair and clothing, staining her cheeks like tears. Root folds her ears back when she glances at Ellie, her muzzle stained. Joel led them into the next passageway with a fire of his shotgun. No one was attacking them anymore, they were fleeing.

Root tracked August further ahead into a room that resembles a garden. It also opens up to the sky through a broken glass atrium ceiling. The plants are mostly dead, it looks as though the place has been nearly untouched for decades. Root barks at a closed door ahead and Ellie holds her machete up, ready when she opens it. Inside was a large crumbling room with tall white caved in pillars that held the ceiling up. There are vines growing across the entire floor and high walls. Root growls into the dark and Ellie spots her glowing eyes towards the end of the room. August had collapsed to the floor and is looking towards the broken ceiling; his breathing is shallow.

Joel steps over to her and asks, “you good?” She nods. She was more than _good_.

She walks forward and stands above August like a tower. He smiled at her, his teeth stained in blood. Strangely enough, it isn’t a cruel smile, he just knew what she was going to do. He’s accepting to it.

“You’re the future.” He says and he sounds like Marlene. She could almost hear it in her voice.

_‘Don’t waste this gift.’_

“No. I never was. I’m just surviving and you took away the only peace that was left for us.” Ellie says, softly.

He closes his eyes for a moment to help quell the pain but when he opens them again he’s looking at her with something akin to reverence. “What’s my fate?” He asks.

“You burned Jackson alive,” Ellie says and eyes a torch hanging on the wall not far from them.

He gave her a pained smile and a small laugh as a response but there was no fear. She wondered if he felt anything at all. She wondered if she did light him aflame, he’d somehow realize all his wrongs and understand the gravity of what he’s done. But she knows he wouldn’t. People like him didn’t have the mind for remorse or grief or the understanding thereof. He would always be this way, a half smile away from burning someone alive.

He grunts, “You’re…th-e…wolf.”

“You’re wrong.” She says and kneels down beside him. He looks confused at first until she grabs Tommy’s knife, which was sticking out of him and he yells out towards the broken ceiling as if it could somehow grant him a reprieve.

_She’s the spider._

She grips the knife and rips it upwards towards his chest and he gurgles, keeping his eyes on hers. She stands, her entire body, calm. She watches a few minutes more as he bleeds the rest of the way out. He was going to tell her something. It looks like he wants to say something but he dies before he speaks.

She just stands there staring at his eyes, which are frozen open, fixated on her.  He had nothing more to say. She had silenced The Wolf, _who was very much a man_ , forever. She startles when she feels Joel’s hand touch her shoulder and he’s looking at her with concern as he usually does.

“I’m okay.” She says and she was. They stand there silent for a few moments and he moves in close, wrapping his arms around her.  It was the first time he had initiated a hug since she had killed David those years ago. She was going to accept that she felt nothing until he held her and now everything came tumbling out of her. She grips his shirt tightly and the sobs wrack her shoulders.

Jackson’s gone. It would never be what it was. Tommy and Maria weren’t waiting there any longer. None of this brought them back. She knew this from the start, but it all hit her like a truck.

Joel’s voice cracks in a whisper, “Baby girl.”

\--

The Lodge burned, it’s flames reaching so high it blends with the dark sky.  The moon is bright above it and it looks as though the fire is eating it away. It’s eating everything away. Joel and Root stand at her side, admiring the destruction. They may have left their scar on the Earth but scars are just reminders, they can’t hurt anyone anymore.

Ellie felt as though she gained a piece of herself back somehow. All these little holes the world had created in her are starting to fill in again. She may never be entirely whole again or the girl she was but this was something.

They walked from there never to return and they camped in foreign towns, silent in the ruins. Ellie looks to Root who now wears Riley’s pendant proudly and she thinks this is what healing feels like.

She watches Joel start a fire, kindling the embers to get them to come to life.

“Thank you,” Ellie says to him and she means for everything. Every _single_ thing. He understands. He always understood, when most people didn’t. They’ve always just _got_ each other.  He gives her a small smile and it remains on his lips this time.

They eat dinner in companionable silence and Joel gives Root some of his meal, which she devours.

“What do you think about…heading back?” Ellie asks.

Joel chews for a moment, waiting to speak, to form the right words.

“Heading back where?” He asks but she knew he understood what she meant.

“To Jackson…”

The words linger and drift between them painfully and he wipes his mouth on a sigh.

“Why do you want to go back there?” Joel asks but he isn’t angry, just tired.

“I don’t want to forget them. They deserve to be remembered.” Ellie whispers and Joel looks away from her. He always did so when something upset him, he could never look her in the eye.

“Do you really want to go back there?” Joel questions and Ellie nods.

Her mind was made up. There wasn’t much left there but they could start again. They were good at that.

“Alright then,” Joel says, softly.

\--

After a while the roads blur together, becoming vines, holding the countryside together. There was no shame in stopping.

When they arrive back in Jackson, it’s silent and the destroyed buildings remain. It was as if Ellie expected them to disappear somehow. She spots something in the ashes then, a small green bud of a plant that could easily be stepped on. There’s something growing out of the destruction. She kneels, observing it with fresh tears. Root barks at her and Joel moves on, towards the center of the community. He was finally going to get to say goodbye. She felt the sun caress her face like an old friend.

Jackson was always supposed to be home.

She’s filling with a fragile hope. She’s not hollow. They had vanquished the darkness and have made it home. Although, there's no one to greet them or anyone to tell their tale to.

Maybe she’d tell the wind and spread her words like dandelion seeds.

They survived. They were surviving.

Ellie stands and heads further into the ruined town, Root on her heels. She sees Joel’s silhouette up ahead as if he’s made of light. He’s waiting for her to join him. There’s a tranquil finality to it and it makes her chest ache with contentment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this journey! Thank you to those that left comments and kudos along the way, it gave me incentive to keep writing! I appreciate you taking the time to read this, it means a lot to me! Let me know if you enjoyed it :) This was a lot of fun to write!


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